Bitter News, 5-28-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, as super-secure and foolproof as a smile-less driver’s license:

• The legal media web frenzy growing out of the Seventh Circuit Bar Association’s brawl beating of courtroom lawyers’ skimpy and eyesore threads (Bitter News, 5/22/09) has hit national headlines—not only to offer additional advice from Northwestern law school about looking professional and non-distracting (be bland like beige, blend like wallpaper), but also to tee up the sexiest TV lawyers.  Because when there’s talk about a female litigator dropping jaws with a short skirt in a courtroom, it’s definitely because she looks like Calista Flockhart circa 2002. [Chicago Tribune]

• The Court of Arbitration for Sport suspended French Open first-round winner Mathieu Montcourt for five weeks and fined him $12,000 for losing $228.60 in 36 online sports bets he placed in 2005 on Andre Agassi, Roger Federer and Maria Sharapova. You can’t gamble with love/love.  [Washington Post]

• “14 to life” sounds so much nicer than “15 to life.” Phil Spector’s lawyers want you to kick a year off, for good measure.  [Associated Press]

• U.S. District Judge David G. Campbell is a lover of the humpback chub and knows that it’s all about the release and flow.  Are you a man that’s men’s issue-minded enough to say you love the chub too?  [Los Angeles Times]

• Law firm partners in crime?  If Roland Burris didn’t buy Obama’s senate seat, it looks like his law firm and law firm partner, Tim Wright, maybe did.  Nice firm support.  [Chicago Sun Times]

• The Am Law 101 to 200 is where it’s at.  New York is dead. Milwaukee is da bomb.  “The Second Hundred’s slow-growth strategies” have been vindicated. [American Lawyer]

• A summer associate at Mayer Brown’s office in Chicago is having a bad run at it a week and a half in and swabbed positive for swine flu.  [Above the Law]

• Business ain’t booming?  Blame the Google.  “How would you feel if you typed your law firm’s name into an Internet search engine and saw a competitor’s name listed first in the results?” That’s not a very sweet thing for the kind and gentle Internet to do.  [Connecticut Law Tribune]

• Judge Judy is “fair and even-handed” but just so it’s clear, she has zero appreciation for gigolo/baby daddies.  [Jezebel]

• Attention unemployed huddled masses: Everybody has an idea on what law firms are looking for in new recruits, but here’s what Sandra Bullock in A Time to Kill can teach you about getting a job.  (More the relentless hustle, gumption, work-for-free and kiss-ass part, and less the racially charged beat down.) [My Law License]

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2 Comments

  1. Prof Green

    May 28, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    Thanks for the interesting news review.  We all need Sandra in our lives sometime, and she can always take care of my butt.

  2. Steve

    May 28, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    wow, you linked to ATL.  impressive

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