Bitter News, 5-28-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are the eighth commandment of Memorial Day BBQ style:

• Hulk Hogan will do a lot to entertain you.  But he won’t wrestle Bedrock cartoons with cankles in the name of selling surgery cereals.  He’s pissed—ala Lindsay Lohan v. E*Trade—about the use of his apparent likeness in the commercial below.  And it’s “Hogan,” not “Boulder.” Bitches.  It’s enough to get Post Foods hit upside the head with a folding chair.  [Arts Beat @ NYT]

News continues below video.

• “A younger generation of deal lawyers is taking the helm at Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP, a sea change at one of the best-known and most conservative of white-shoe law firms.” The almost 200-year-old firm is bragging about its young guns.  “[A] new group of Cravath partners in their 30s and 40s decided to take a more-proactive approach, building new relationships and handling much of the work that historically would have been taken on by partners in their 50s.” And to illustrate these young, modern legal Gods, The Wall Street Journal has thumbnail headshots in the style of their classically antiquated line drawings.  [Wall Street Journal]

• Startups need to have a great lawyer, but founders need to know when to ignore their advice.  “Here’s why lawyers don’t run startups (and why entrepreneurs hate lawyers).  [Business Insider]

• As the ABA Journal points out coincidentally about our interview with CSI and Drop Dead Diva executive producer Josh Berman and his comment about what effect he feels he had on juries’ expectations for forensic evidence based on the popularity of CSI, “on Wednesday, the Ohio State Bar Association Jury Instructions Committee approved jury instructions that warn panel members about improperly getting information regarding a trial from outside sources”—like legal shows.  Life shouldn’t always imitate art, I guess.  [ABA Journal]

• BP has a big nightmare on its hands—and not just in the Gulf, but in the courtroom as well.  It be facing some torts titans as repercussions of this abomination of an oil spill.  Two examples are: 1) Daniel Becnel Jr., the self-professed king of all torts; and 2) Brent Coon, the “50-year-old southeast Texan” who “plays guitar in a rock ‘n’ roll band, hangs out with Playboy playmates, dresses in blue-collar hip clothes and sports sunglasses on top of his spiky blond locks” with a plan to offensively attach BP again.  [MSNBC | The Gazette]

• They say the most important moment of your legal career is simply when you get the results of your performance on the LSAT.  So your oh-so-good friends at U.S. News have mustered up seven very commonsense-ical tips for how you can be the tortuous and win the race.  You are your worst opponent.  Second place is first place loser.  Hold my trophy while I kiss your girlfriend.  Outwit.  Outplay.  Outlast.  [U.S. News & World Report]

• And after you learn how to ace the LSAT, you’ll need to learn how to write bad briefs.  You know, ones that will really help you lose your case.  [Legal Blog Watch]

• What if Eminem went to Michigan Law?  It would have looked a little something like this…back in 2004.  [AnnArbor.com]

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are the eighth commandment of Memorial Day BBQ style:

• Hulk Hogan will do a lot to entertain you.  But he won’t wrestle Bedrock cartoons with cankles in the name of selling surgery cereals.  He’s pissed—ala Lindsay Lohan v. E*Trade—about the use of his apparent likeness in the commercial below.  And it’s “Hogan,” not “Boulder.” Bitches.  It’s enough to get Post Foods hit upside the head with a folding chair.  [Arts Beat @ NYT]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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