Bitter News, 5-4-10

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that seek justice like a scorned Mrs. Boreanaz on Rachel Uchitel:

• Here’s a look at the three-factor test used to consider whether “excessive force was employed” when 17-year-old Steve Consalvi got Tasered like a bitch for running onto the field during Monday night’s Phillies game after calling his dad and telling him he was going to attempt a “once in a lifetime experience.” (Video below.) It was “a unique instance of criminal trespass” to say the least.  Regardless, his “cool factor” amongst his friends shot through the roof we he got jolted.  “And then he Tasered me!  That’s never happened before!” is a pretty badass ending to any teenager’s story.  [Fanhouse]

News continued below video.

• Bitter Lawyer won a Webby Award this morning.  Hold your applause.  [ABA Journal]

• Once you’ve paid for the law degree, the CLEs are a drop in the bucket.  [Legal Blog Watch]

• The 30 most famous Harvard grads of all time.  The list starts with lawyer all-stars like John Adams, John Quincy Adams and Rutherford B. Hayes and goes all the way down to modern-day legal mainstays such as David Souter, John Roberts, Mitt Romney, Barack Obama and everyone’s favorite Charlie Rose star, Lloyd Blankfein.  Blankfein’s days may be numbered at Goldman, but he’s building an army of legal defenders, which includes just about every firm in BigLaw.  [Business Insider]

• She’s no John Roberts, but Solicitor General Elena Kagan IS a woman.  We might hear if she’s the new Supreme Court nominee as soon as this week.  [CBS News]

• People at Harvard Law aren’t racist—they’re intellectuals.  There’s also not scientists.  Or researchers.  Again: They’re intellectuals.  [True/Slant | Althouse]

• Off-the-hook politicians.  A series:

—Bush’s former head of housing found shelter: Justice Dept. gave up investigating him.  [NY Times]

—The Love Gov. must be loving the SC attorney general.  No ethics charges for Sanford.  [NY Times]

• “New York’s chief judge called on Monday for a new guarantee of a lawyer for poor people in civil cases, like suits over eviction and other disputes where basic needs are at stake, pushing the state to the forefront of a national effort to expand the right to representation for the indigent.” Wherever will we find a stock of lawyers who can relate to poor, out-of-work people?  Oh, maybe the judge was making a subtle joke about how most lawyers should represent themselves when they get evicted.  Touché, Jonathan Lippman.  [The New York Times]

• More judge news: Federal Judge Ronald Guzman is allowing Casey Szaflarski, who was indicted in March on gambling and tax fraud charges, to attend his daughter’s wedding and walk her down the aisle in August.  But there’s a catch.  Casey isn’t allowed to speak to the groom’s father, Frank “Toots” Caruso.  Because it would probably be about “mob business.” Toots is “a reputed leader of the mob’s 26th Street street crew,” and his son (the blushing groom-to-be) “was convicted in the 1998 racially motivated beating of Lenard Clark.” The wedding planner is Marty Scorcese.  [Chicago Breaking News]

• MORE judge news: Federal Judge Nicholas Garaufis lost it on a city lawyer for just recently discovering 6,000 pages linked to a Fire Department exam that discriminated against minority candidates.  [NY Daily News]

• A 20-year-old female intern at a New York consulting firm has filed in Manhattan Supreme Court against her former boss, Thomas Guerriero, for allegedly repeatedly sext-ing her and emailing her a video of himself masturbating under the screen name “stallionman_69.” There’s now a master debate over whether her story is credible.  [Business Insider]

• “The lawyer for a University of Virginia lacrosse player accused of murdering his ex-girlfriend said the death was unintentional.” Hindsight is innocent/innocent.  [Bloomberg]

Check out more news from previous days.

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that seek justice like a scorned Mrs. Boreanaz on Rachel Uchitel:

• Here’s a look at the three-factor test used to consider whether “excessive force was employed” when 17-year-old Steve Consalvi got Tasered like a bitch for running onto the field during Monday night’s Phillies game after calling his dad and telling him he was going to attempt a “once in a lifetime experience.” (Video below.) It was “a unique instance of criminal trespass” to say the least.  Regardless, his “cool factor” amongst his friends shot through the roof we he got jolted.  “And then he Tasered me!  That’s never happened before!” is a pretty badass ending to any teenager’s story.  [Fanhouse]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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