Bitter News, 6-30-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that make Joe Paterno proud by standing tall like Aeneas:

• It’s hard to get on SCOTUS for a Texas pimp.  It’s all about the Ivy League hustle and flow.  Not even firefighters can keep a Yalie down.  [Outribune.com]

• The Madoff ruling still has victims and the legal community lashing out. “Rot in hell” seems to be popular.  And there may be 10 others set to join him.  [The Am Law Daily]

• Not sure if you heard yet, but a University of Florida College of Law student is calling a fellow alumni and Orlando’s most high-profile and outspoken criminal-defense attorney, Cheney Mason (University of Florida ‘70), to the carpet on his oral contract to pay $1 million to anyone who could fly from Orlando to Atlanta, exit one of the busiest airports in the world, and arrive at a hotel five miles away in less than a half hour.  He offered the “challenge” in an interview with the loquacious Ann Curry on a 2006 episode the news show Dateline (transcript here) in defense of his client, Nelson Serrano, who was accused of doing just that in order to kill his business partner and two others. The JD-2-B, Dustin Kolodziej, filed suit against Mason in Houston federal court for breach of contract because, guess what—he was able to do it.  And there’s a Jesse James president that means he may have to pay.  [Orlando Sentinel]

• When it comes to being a lawyer, there’s that whole issue of compensation.  Last week, a majority of you voted it the best part of being a lawyer.  But the hot trend these days is salary slashing.  And you might even have to be an apprentice before you can be an associate.  There’s just disparity all over the place.  And it ain’t pretty.  But stay positive, law students.  And enjoy the summer anyway—by working your tail off.  [The National Law Journal]

• Women can’t all be nurses and administrative assistants. In fact, 3.5 million women earn within the highest pay bracket—and coming in at #3 on the Forbes list of top-paying jobs for women: Lawyers.  Earnings nearly 80% of men’s (that’s actually high), the average hard-charging lady of law cashes out at $78,468 a year.  Want a job that ranks higher?  Then fill out an application to be a female CEO (#2) or go study to sit in a fluorescent-lit Walgreens all night dispensing Lipitor as a pharmacist (#1).  [Forbes.com]

• Starting to sweat a little amongst all those high-paid female lawyers, guys?  The key is choosing the right cologne for your lifestyle.  So designer snake oil, basically.  [Esquire]

• What the Judges Doing Lately:

—Judge John Erlick is allowing Mariners fans to go from foul pole to stripper pole. [SeattlePI.com]

—Judge Joseph Teresi ordered 62 senators into NY Senate chambers at the same time. [Times Union]

—Judge charged the mother of a 550-pound boy with neglect. Sure you’ll see her on Maury[ABC News]

—Judge Robert Mitchum (not the noir actor) thinks all’s fair in parenthood and exorcisms. [Macon.com]

• Just when CIA general counsel John Rizzo was made out to be a hero and going out on his terms, advocacy groups want CIA lawyer disbarred.  [Philly.com]

• It’s gettin’ hot—sez indicted Rosie Quinn.  Fire in the (law firm hell) hole.  [Kansas City Star]

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1 Comment

  1. Diana

    June 30, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    You go girls!

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