Bitter News, 7-6-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as epic as Wimbledon and as pain-etching as Federer’s #15:

• Soon-to-be-former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s lake house is most totally all hers.  Corruption free.  Built with hard-working, industrious Todd’s own hands with his local hardware connections.  No one other than crappy, inept bloggers are investigating the matter.  And the only reason for mentioning it at all is because Palin’s lawyer put the biggest spotlight possible on the issue by sending out a notice after her resignation saying that defamation lawsuits will be explored against publications that suggest otherwise.  And abhorring vacuums is always good too, or some crazy crap like that.  Welcome to the bizarre[Salon]

• Ping! Your cellphone is a GPS devise tracking your location at all times—and it will get you convicted.  So the next time you go to dump a body, just realize you’re “unknowingly Twittering with law enforcement” when you yap on your cell. Unless the ACLU finds a way to “keep Big Brother out of your pocket.” That’s what she said.  [The New York Times]

• University of Illinois Chancellor Richard Herman, you’ve got some splainin’ to do today regarding your forced acceptance of an unqualified law school applicant in a crooked exchange with Gov. Rod Blagojevich.  [Chicago Tribune]

• Let’s just put this glaring general stereotype out on the table: Lawyers are good at poker.  To name a few: here, here, here and most recently here—attorney Dick McCall eighth-place World Series of Poker seniors event win.  [Waco Tribune-Herald]

• Despite the cute acronym, the WARN (Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification) Act designed to give a 60-day notice to workers before a mass layoff (10,723 and counting!) may not be the cushion anyone’s looking for.  [Wall Street Journal]

• Who needs the weekend box office numbers when you have law firm grosses? Linklaters personal record year of £1.29 billion ($2.13 billion) makes it the king of Great Britain, but it’s still #3 behind Skadden’s £1.35 billion and Baker & McKenzie’s £1.34 billion.  £ooo,ooo,ooo-yeah!  [Times Online]

• How does your bankruptcy attorney make sure that you go bankrupt?  With a little dose of inspiration from the law firm of Frenkel Lambert Weiss Weisman & Gordon.  The office of attorney William Bowen left piles of left unshredded client documents in a public garbage dumpster with SSNs and private data just chillin’ for all to see. [Middletown Journal]

• Give a homeless man a dollar, and he might spend it on booze or a cheap high.  Give a homeless man Water for Elephants or Angela’s Ashes, and you have the makings of a high-brow book club—but don’t forget the donuts.  Rob was a homeless man.  Peter is an attorney.  And it goes a little something like this… [The Boston Globe]

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2 Comments

  1. marille

    July 7, 2009 at 7:30 am

    Lively discussion over at http://www.reclusiveleftist.com/ about blind hatred and distortion directed at Palin and H Clinton by self-identified “feminists”.

  2. Lady Marion

    July 7, 2009 at 9:16 am

    If you are a fan of NCIS, you can see all the info tech people can gather from your personal cell or computer.

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