Bitter News, 8-12-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that make you feel as wanted as a White House welcome party:

• Phew—thankfully plaid is fashionable again because people like power attorneys Nate and Karen Litwin are part of a trend of well-educated, corporate professionals who are aspiring future farmers of America.  Tired of dealing with clients’ crap, they want the simple life of shoveling real manure.  Out in the country.  With like some acres, and a mule or something.  [Newsday]

• This is certainly something that’s going to need a little clarification on www.43alumni.com: “House Democrats turned over to federal prosecutors thousands of investigative documents Tuesday, alleging they are evidence of impropriety by Karl Rove and other Bush White House officials in the controversial 2006 firing of nine U.S. attorneys.” [Wall Street Journal]

• Living life on the “down low” means being a secret gay dude Oprah—and it means something kind of similar to those who have been laid off.  It’s all about lying, mainly to yourself, about no longer being employed.  Many who received pink slips are saving face by lying to their spouses and keeping their normal weekday routines—except for that one part about not having a job to go to.  They might chill on a park bench or go keep a Starbucks looking populated to pass the time.  And many of those, lawyers included, who’s income has seized are continuing to dish out cash to buy work clothes and pay country club dues because…they certainly don’t want to look unemployed or, perish the thought, seem poor.  [Washington Post]

• The Tao of Ferris Bueller has a wisdom that most trial lawyers don’t live by, but it might not hurt if they did.  “Your current situation doesn’t have to be your fate. There’s always another way.” The legacy character of director John Hughes, Ferris Bueller embodies one stud of a lawyer who could teach the courthouse drones a few things about making it count—and he probably even uses a gmail account.  Now, if only everyone had a “Sloane” to play hooky with.  [Washington Post]

• Madoff’s CFO, Frank DiPascali, plead guilty to being an assistant Ponzi-master.  [Associated Press]

• People say New York is dead.  But is the Big Apple responsible for death?  The family of a man who died after contracting the swine flu plans to launch a $40-million lawsuit against New York City.  [WPIX.com]

• What the Judges Are Doing:

—Word not up.  Judge Leonard Davis ruled Microsoft must stop selling its Word program.  [USA Today]

—What the #*%!? Judge Jeffrey Marcuzzo’s use of profanity got him suspended. [Law.com]

—Judge Denny Chin opened a new chapter for a company that wants to object to Google Book deal. [AP]

—Judge Jed Rakoff delayed B. of A.’s settlement offer to the SEC for Lynch bonuses.  [MarketWatch]

—Judge Douglas Woodlock delayed sentencing of Boston’s Big Dig builder’s big mess.  [Boston.com]

• While some of the legal world is focused on former attorney general Alberto Gonzales joining football coach Mike Leach, JD on staff at Texas Tech, but the more sensational legal news is happening in Kentucky.  There’s reason for lawyer Steve Pence to give a close look at the morality clauses in his client, University of Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino’s, contract.  Reasons for that would involve sex, $3,000 and an abortion.  [USA Today]

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3 Comments

  1. Anom

    August 12, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Will coach return?  Why not

  2. Old technopeasant judges plz stfu

    August 12, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Judge orders Microsoft to stop selling Word? What a completely asinine ruling. Almost all of these old coffin-dodgers have trouble understanding how to use the most basic of technologies, yet feel they can pass judgement on complex matters regarding software development. I despair, I really do.

  3. KateLaw

    August 13, 2009 at 6:05 am

    Pitino is a sad little man, but that “lady” he was involved with is no prize either.  They may just deserve eachother.

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