Bitter News, 9-29-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as violating as pics of the Spanish PM’s “goth” daughters:

• Stanford Law School magna cum loudly graduate Cristina Warthen has found her way into headlines again.  A federal court judge sentenced her to a year of monitored home detention for continuing to “advertise herself on the Internet as a [$2,000 a night] high-priced escort, even as she awaited sentencing on federal tax evasion charges related to her days as an upscale prostitute named ‘Brazil.’” But she had her back-taxes fee reduced, so being the American Deidre Dare can’t be all bad.  [San Jose Mercury News | New York Daily News]

• There are those who wish they could be like Marc Randazza and write things like “You are a homosexual blood elf!” in legal briefs—and then there’s the actual Marc Randazza, who’s defending Isaac Eiland-Hall, the creator of GlennBeckRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com in a case against “rodeo clown” talk show host Glenn Beck.  Beck filed a complaint against the satirical domain and is tossing around the idea of a defamation case.  While battling what he claims is improper censorship, Marc has gone hush-hush on his usually outspoken blog, The Legal Satyricon, and asks his readers to “be respectful to both Mr. Beck and his attorneys.” Well played.  [Ad Week]

• Women wearing tall fashion boots in a law firm: Proverbial shit-kickers or ‘no country for old dominatrices’? [Corporette]

• Top rock group SCOTUS gets back to doing what they do best on Monday: A high-court jam session.  The newest edition to the nine-member band, bassist Justice Sotomayor, will add a diverse tone to the group’s conservative-yet-divided sound.  Their newest album, “Docket,” includes a varied, if not scattered, set of tracks.  Their first pre-release, “Corporate Political Spending,” has set the guise for their new ’09-’10 album, and “The Second Amendment Right to Self-Defense” will showcase their ability to tackle the broad.  A set list for their upcoming tour can be found here[Wall Street Journal]

• I can physically see why attorney William Kent likes to host German law students like Marie Fahlbusch.  (Photo below.) And why less-impressed-looking attorney Suzanne Bass may be hoping you read between the lines when she says: “It’s been a great experience to host Marie.  When they stay with you, they become a part of your life.” [The Daily Record]

• Just what you never wanted to know: Nutrition facts on how many calories are in that serving of red wine you enjoy nightly.  Also soon-to-be-unfortunate news: An entire bottle does not equal one serving of red wine.  Thanks, federal government! [Palate Press via Overlawyered]

• Saline County Circuit Judge Todd Lambert = government worker superhero.  “A southern Illinois judge today blocked Gov. Pat Quinn’s plan to lay off 2,500 state employees as a way to balance the state’s budget.” [Chicago Breaking News]

• We were really pulling for Dalton Chiscolm, the guy who sued BofA for “1,784 billion, trillion dollars,” but it looks like our country’s most prominent voice of reason, Judge Denny Chin (recent notable case: sentencing BERNIE FREAKIN’ MADOFF to a buck-fifty of jailtime) expressed his lack of sympathy for Chiscolm in a single word: “Incomprehensible.” [Guardian.co.uk]

• Midget-sex-loving audiences clearly aren’t lining up for Tucker Max’s new movie, but are lawyer audiences lining up for the Guantanamo movie The Response, which is an ABA Silver Gavel Award recipient?  (Yeah, looked it up, and apparently that award really exists.) The law school posse over at UNLV is watched it and debated war crimes vs. terrorism til everyone felt figuratively waterboarded. Reports that former Attorney General John Ashcroft and former Justice Department official John Yoo may still face legal action for violating civil rights post 9/11 probably add nicely to the movie hype.  [The Rebel Yell]

• A teenage shoplifter who stole a $4 ring from Claire’s but was never charged is feeling the brunt of a state statute that allows retailers to seek damages associated with shoplifting.  But the firm representing Claire’s is being called “unscrupulous.” What are we calling the shoplifter?  [KETV.com]

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4 Comments

  1. www.pinkshoelawyer.blogspot.com

    September 29, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    yeah….them maneater boots always draw the comments.
    but if they can show off their bellies, I can show my knees.

  2. BL1Y

    September 30, 2009 at 4:12 am

    Deidre Dare is seriously asking for $2250 a night?

  3. Avatar

    September 30, 2009 at 5:12 am

    Come to think of it, why doesn’t wine have Nutrition Facts listed on the bottle?  Beer does.

  4. Gene Simmons

    September 30, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    You could probably already see the physical resemblance, but yes, Sonia’s my sister, you know.  She taught me that tongue thing, in fact.

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