Bitter News, Week of August 29, 2011


Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we are prepared for the school year.

Maybe a JD/MBA Isn’t a Bad Idea. As more and more companies build provisions barring first and second year associates from working on their projects, law firms are responding by creating business education programs to teach junior lawyers financial and accounting concepts and the finer points of business school, like creating power-point presentations and computer spreadsheets.  No word on whether or not they’ll be taught how to make boatloads of money without needing to work at BigLaw.

Coming to a Torts Casebook Near You? A trucker in Kentucky walked  into a hospital for a routine circumcision and left with substantially less phallus than he expected. Apparently, the doctor spotted a potentially-deadly cancer and decided to take action. The patient, peeved at being unable to get a second opinion, sued the doctor on the basis that he did not consent and now “doesn’t feel like a man.” Well, the jury believed the doctor made the right decision by not consulting with the trucker or his wife and ruled against the plaintiff –who plans to appeal. This is why you hire a mohel.

Toucan Sam Ain’t Nothing To F**k With. Kellogg is threatening to sue the nonprofit Maya Archaeology Initiative if it does not change its logo, which the multinational cereal maker believes looks too much like Toucan Sam, the mascot of Froot Loops with a nose that can sniff out sugary smells and artificial colors. Of course, Toucan Sam’s earlier iteration sounded an awful lot like Barney Rubble and, now that we think about it, his nose reminds us a bit of a rainbow party.

iSkad. New York megafirm Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom introduced a free iPhone and iPad app to help streamline the recruiting process. The program, Skadden Start Here, even includes a text-recognition system that allows applicants to scan Skadden business cards and automatically add their contact information. Available in the iTunes Store, it will allow the hordes of unemployed law students to feel like they had a shot at a BigLaw position.

Match.com: Now With Less Rape! A woman raped by a man she met on Match.com asked the website to conduct background checks on its members; her attacker had six prior convictions for sexual offenses. Match.com initially refused her request that the institute federal, state and local checks for sex offenders, so she filed suit. After negotiations, and no doubt realizing the PR nightmare had the case gone forward, the website agreed to institute full background checks. We in the Newsroom strongly approve, especially as this will hopefully push more sites to take similar actions.

Is the Bar Tough Enough? The bar passage rate in South Korea is less than 5%. The low passage rate does not keep people from reapplying, or going to extremes to study hard: enter Exam Village, a neighborhood in Seoul where 20,000 people live monastic lives dedicated to studying for and passing all important state exams, including many aspiring lawyers all fighting for the 1,000 available spots each year. Like most countries, South Korean law schools were of the undergraduate variety until recent changes permitted the creation of a set number of graduate law schools in 2009: 25 schools limited to 2,000 candidates. Anyone care to venture a guess on what a similar system result in here?

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