BREAKING: Early Polls Show Democrat With 22 Point Lead Over Challengers!


This just in. Polls are showing Democrat Jed Bartlet with a commanding lead in the Bitter Lawyer Presidential Election. Mr. Bartlet, who served as President in the West Wing, has so far received 44.44% of the vote. His closest challengers, Thomas Whitmore (Independence Day) and James Marshall (Air Force One), are tied at 22.22%. However, analysts agree that Bartlet would lose in a fist fight with either Whitmore or Marshall.

Tied for last place are David Palmer (24) and Tom Beck (Deep Impact). Each have received a dismal 2.22%. Their poor showings suggest that America just isn’t ready for either a dead president or an African-American president. But despite Palmer’s assassination in 2006, Fox News has already predicted him as the winner.

Okay, Beck and Palmer aren’t technically last. Three reader write-ins have each received 2% of the vote: James Dale (Mars Attacks!), Mays Gilliam (Head of State), and Andrew Shepherd (American President). This Bitter Political Analyst, however, is extremely disappointed that there have been no write-ins for women. But there is still time.

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Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.

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