Caption This! 11-19-08

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this toy lover.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced the next day.

Editors’ Pick 11-18-08

Anonymous: “A Happy Ending… graduation, of course!”

Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.


  1. Alan

    November 19, 2008 at 1:48 am

    And these are just a few of the things you won’t be able to buy without bonuses this year.

  2. Jim

    November 19, 2008 at 3:12 am

    “Essentially, he wants to know if we’ll knock 500 bucks off his tuition in exchange for these Christmas classics…pretty hard stuff to find, no?”

  3. Anonymous

    November 19, 2008 at 3:41 am

    Sure, I surround myself with some interesting characters, but you never know who’s going to have the big idea.

  4. ajc

    November 19, 2008 at 6:22 am

    I think I will set up a conference table back in my Texas ranch with these here friends of mine to make it feel like I’m still heading cabinet meetings here in the White House.

  5. Relic113

    November 19, 2008 at 8:48 am

    The credit crisis required a replacement of all associates with stuffed toys…and no one noticed a difference in the quality of work…

  6. MT

    November 19, 2008 at 9:18 am

    The government’s next big sex scandal. . . ?

  7. Another Loyola 1L

    November 19, 2008 at 9:38 am

    In the absence of having a real life, marriage, or children, he likes to talk to his “friends”

  8. E-Monster

    November 19, 2008 at 10:01 am

    George Bush’s cabinet.

  9. AnotherLoyola1L

    November 19, 2008 at 10:16 am

    In the absence of a real life, he talks to his only “friends”

  10. Lady of Law

    November 19, 2008 at 10:19 am

    Gentlemen, watch your mouths!  There is a lady present.  Sorry you had to hear that, Dora.

  11. FT

    November 19, 2008 at 10:20 am

    Members of the press, you may now interview the jury

  12. Butch Roberts

    November 19, 2008 at 11:21 am

    These do not count as associate hires!!!

  13. Steve

    November 19, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Any one of these seemingly innocuous toys, if shoved in a child’s mouth or jammed up his or her ass, poses a serious health risk.

  14. Bitter 2L

    November 19, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    As a new associate, Larry was frankly excited when he was told he would be over the “Family Law” division of Dewey, Chetum, and Howe–to his horror there was no “Family Law” division, only a day care…

  15. DD

    November 19, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    With a confused look on his face, “what do you mean I don’t have to keep toys around to occupy the child pornography on my computer?”

  16. 3L who'd rather be a chef

    November 19, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    “My wife asked me to buy some toys to spice things up.”

  17. Doug

    November 19, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    William D. Markler spoke Wednesday of the product liability action his firm recently filed against Gullane (Thomas the Train) Limited and Mattel Inc.. “You thought that tickle-me-Elmo was just tickling back? No – those are actually seizures brought on by irreversible neurological damage. Who knew these stuff animals contained so much lead.” Mr. Markler, when asked about his firm’s recent cutbacks and billable hours declined to comment.

  18. CAJ

    November 19, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    That’s when we knew that the killer was Santa Claus, he kept leaving these toys under the bodies of his victims.

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