Caption This! April 4-10

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this stunned defendant.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, April 11th.

Editors’ Pick (March 28-April 3):

FoSho: “Sexting livens up Congress this week.”

Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.


  1. ajc

    April 4, 2009 at 5:03 am

    No way Jose!  I ain’t sucking his d!ck!

  2. Butch Roberts

    April 4, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Can I borrow your glasses?  He wants me to do the naughty teacher bit again during recess.

  3. Butch Roberts

    April 4, 2009 at 8:25 am

    No, Your Honor, I’m still representing straight people.

  4. Anonymous

    April 4, 2009 at 11:39 am

    You are the Law Firm 10?  What kind of law school did YOU go to?  (Ed. Note:  Either one of these two are at least as attractive as the LF 10 that posts on this website).

  5. BL1Y

    April 5, 2009 at 10:49 am

    Maybe picking my lawyer based on Alma Federer’s radical notions of female supremacism was not such a good idea.

  6. Craig

    April 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    It would really be helpful if you didn’t look exactly like a serial killer … (

  7. Al Dickman

    April 5, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Look what happens when I pick a lawyer from Craigslist!

  8. Rayko

    April 6, 2009 at 8:03 am

    Do you think periwinkle is a good color on me?

  9. Bitter2L

    April 6, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Look at me … of course I was sexually harassed!

    (***Lawyer looking down thinking, this woman is delusional***)

  10. Anonymous

    April 6, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Well, she COULD have been sexually harassed by an ape!

  11. Evan @ FloCo

    April 7, 2009 at 8:43 am

    “No sir, I am pre-op, so I am technically still a ‘woman’”

  12. NTRO

    April 7, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    OMG, did my Lawyer just fart??

  13. Senior Associate

    April 7, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Bitch, you didn’t say nothin’ bout no death penalty!

  14. no comment

    April 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Senior Associate just shut the competition down. You win!

  15. law drone

    April 8, 2009 at 7:10 am

    “Uh, bitch, someone just popped a fart bubble and your nonchalant look is not fooling me!  This is not a case of she who dealt it, smelt it.”

  16. Anonymous

    April 8, 2009 at 7:23 am

    After the judge refused to allow a bathroom break, the client pleaded with her attorney to object.

  17. Snowman

    April 8, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    A bible!?  I am definitely not putting my hand on that.

  18. BL2Y

    April 8, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Tell that hornyJudge that I’ll bang him in exchange for probation.

  19. McGeorgeDominates?

    April 9, 2009 at 12:50 am

    Baby Ruth?

  20. Tripp

    April 10, 2009 at 6:11 am

    After a moment of sheer horror, Helen realizes that even though she may have just “gambled and lost” on passing gas, that will still not be the most disgusting thing about her.

  21. jettsettrash

    April 10, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Doesn’y everyone have sex with their dog?

  22. The Editors Pick??

    April 15, 2009 at 9:51 am

    That was the dumbest comment on here, why did that stupid “I’m pre-op” win?

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