Caption This! Jan. 24-30

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this hands-free device.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, January 24.

Editors’ Pick (Jan. 17-23):

FoSho: “The awkward post-swing breakfast”

Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.


  1. ajc

    January 24, 2009 at 6:38 am

    Citizens of Zimbabwe can now enjoy the benefits of hands-free technology, and for the low low price of Z$5,000,000,000,000!

  2. Leemail

    January 24, 2009 at 8:51 am

    The Borg’s first attempts at human assimilation were less than spectacular.

  3. Tbone

    January 24, 2009 at 9:22 am

    F*** You blue tooth!.

  4. Pacific Reporter

    January 24, 2009 at 9:53 am

  5. Tennis Pro

    January 24, 2009 at 10:57 am

    Obama’mama with Obama’s blackberry.

  6. Sabrina

    January 24, 2009 at 11:19 am

    But officer, it IS hands-free.

  7. bo

    January 24, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Ghetto ingenuity

  8. Rick

    January 24, 2009 at 1:06 pm


  9. Dude

    January 24, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Customize it- Now available with assorted color rubber bands.

  10. law drone

    January 25, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Today’s economic climate calls for recycling supplies to replace former high tech luxuries for major law firms

  11. MB

    January 26, 2009 at 7:22 am

    Another example of a law firm refusing to buy proper equipment for support staff.  But we pay for attorneys’ blackberries!  Now answer the main line!

  12. chad_broski

    January 26, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Wait till you see his “laptop”.

  13. Bitter's Summer Associate

    January 26, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    Exhibit A for the Plaintiff: Cell phones are addictive, need warning labels on them, and may result in odd behavior, cancers, or the growth of an acceptable law firm “strap-on” for a male.

  14. BBG

    January 26, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    Secrets the cell phone companies don’t want you to know, for three easy payments of 14.95.

  15. Anonymous

    January 27, 2009 at 3:31 am

    “Snach Magnet”?  Bullsheeet, man..  Not working, man.  No beeotch look at me twice with me wearing this sheeet, man!

  16. drlove

    January 27, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Compton and Brooklyn trade technology to enable speaking with one’s baby moms while robbing a Korean liquor store.

  17. AO

    January 27, 2009 at 10:02 am

    The first bluetooth

  18. Alphonse Credenza

    January 27, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Really business doc review guy.

  19. Alphonse Credenza

    January 27, 2009 at 11:43 am

    Sorry, I meant “really busy doc review guy.”

  20. Cosimoto

    January 27, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Well, Doctor, I was in the sauna and making some calls and it just melted on to it…

  21. Anonymous

    January 28, 2009 at 8:20 am

    “The salesman told me his would be great for running…… at least the beans he sold me work”

  22. D-Fence

    January 28, 2009 at 8:22 am

    Comes with three diffrent colors of interchangable rubberbands!

  23. Freddie B in NJ

    January 28, 2009 at 11:47 am

    I am Tyrone of The Borg.  Give me a paralegal job at your law firm now.  Resistance is futile…

  24. Anonymous

    January 28, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Performance based layoff?

  25. Craig

    January 28, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    How embarrassing. I mean, look at how big, clunky and old fashioned that phone is.

  26. Non-racist attempt at humor

    January 28, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    I chose this model because it doesn’t have that geeky-flashing-blue light.

  27. Black Lawyer

    January 30, 2009 at 10:13 am

    A young black man would, of course, be a paralegal and not an attorney. What a bunch of half-wits.

  28. Ponce DeLeon

    January 30, 2009 at 11:06 am

    First-Year Associate multi-tasking.

  29. jackafrass

    January 30, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    “we know you’re embarrassed about your inability to grow sideburns, larry, but this is getting ridiculous.”

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