Caption This! March 14-20

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about these courtroom bombshells.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, March 21st.

Editors’ Pick (March 7-13):

Tom: “Little does Judge Smith’s clerk know, but her ‘2 Girls 1 Cup’ reaction video is about to be the biggest YouTube hit this week.”

Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.


  1. Butch Roberts

    March 14, 2009 at 7:44 am

    The breast implant trial slowed to a crawl after a very excited all-male jury was sworn in when Judge Smith ordered an in camera review in his chambers to determine whether the Defendant’s “feel test” would be relevant to the proceedings and admissible under Rule 403.  According to reports, a videographer and a court reporter were present for the hearing.  Judge Smith has requested that the Defendants produce a “natural girl” in order for him to reach a decision.  Since the trial is in Southern California, the Defendants have asked that the trial be continued as they begin a search outside of the state.

  2. BL1Y

    March 14, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Paul, come in for a second, I want you to listen to this.  Woman here claims there’s a law firm in midtown only hiring large-breasted women.

  3. Anonymous

    March 14, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Where is Hef?

  4. Rock

    March 14, 2009 at 8:47 am

    Clearly a case brought by the state of New Jersey to keep Staten Island residents off of their shores this summer…defendants adequately represented here.

  5. April

    March 14, 2009 at 8:49 am

    Britney, Lindsay, Paris, and Miley stand together in hopes of adding up to one mildly-talented human.

  6. Mbanks

    March 14, 2009 at 11:21 am

    Drag Queens should be against the law.

  7. Lenny

    March 14, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    I can’t quite make out which pair of titties it was in my face last night.  Ladies, maybe if you take your tops off, that will help ….

  8. EJK

    March 14, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Understandably, the Mardi Gras Docket was one of Judge Smith’s favorite.

  9. LawGrrrl

    March 14, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    What’s the swooshing sound?

    (if you missed the reference, see

  10. Craig

    March 15, 2009 at 11:16 am

    a bitter lawyer’s wet dream

  11. Snowman

    March 15, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    “Ah yes, tier 4 law students will make excellent judicial clerks”

  12. AJ

    March 16, 2009 at 3:20 am

    Good thing I’m wearing this robe.

  13. PhillyGuy

    March 16, 2009 at 5:58 am

    Well this is the best $1200/hr worth of “legal talent” I’ve in my court room in some time.

  14. PhillyGuy

    March 16, 2009 at 6:00 am

    [ed.] Well, this is the best $1200/hr worth of “legal talent” I’ve seen in my court room in a long time.

  15. TBone

    March 16, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Some types of community service are in fact against the law.

  16. Alex Hump

    March 16, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    I may not get paid much as a judge, but the fringe benefits make up for it!

  17. Headhunter 10

    March 17, 2009 at 5:25 am

    Hmmmm…. Better run a Lexis search on “Butterface.”

  18. Alma Federer

    March 17, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    I can only imagine WHERE that dirty minded judge wants to stick his filthy little fingers.  Time to install some rodent traps.

  19. Megster

    March 19, 2009 at 8:43 am

    Daughters, stop interrupting my court for shopping money!!

  20. biglaw midlevel

    March 19, 2009 at 9:14 am

    So I guess you weren’t lying when you said you were stripping to pay for law school?

  21. Dork

    March 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Well hello ladies…..

  22. Wilbur Moore

    March 20, 2009 at 3:29 am

    I’d never have a chance with these women in College, but now that I’m a friggin’ judge, I’ll bet they would date me in a New York minute!

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