Cease and Desist Demand re: Men Wearing Sandals


CEASE AND DESIST DEMAND

TO: Men
FROM: Women
RE: The wearing of sandals for men (hereafter, “mandals”)
DATE: May 1, 2012

Dear Sir(s):

This CEASE AND DESIST DEMAND is to inform you that your repeated wearing of mandals has become unbearable for myself, along with the women I represent. Such anti-social behavior is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any way, shape, or form.

This letter constitutes a demand that your wearing of mandals must CEASE AND DESIST immediately. Should you continue to pursue these activities in violation of this CEASE AND DESIST DEMAND, we will not hesitate to pursue further action against you, including, but not limited to, refusing to: (i) speak to; (ii) be seen with; and/or (iii) have sexual relations of any kind whatsoever with any man wearing mandals.

The most recent incidents of such behavior occurred on Saturday, April 28, 2012 in bars, restaurants, and baseball stadiums across the United States, during which time hundreds—if not thousands—of men displayed their unkempt, gnarled, hairy, pale, and downright disgusting feet in mandals of varying shapes, sizes, and styles. The offenses ranged from mild (see, e.g., Rainbow leather flip flops) to flagrantly obscene (see, e.g., Rockport Coastal Creek Sport Thong).

My peers and I have a right to remain free from your harassing wearing of mandals, and we will take the responsibility upon ourselves to protect that right. As such, we demand that you immediately discontinue and do not at any point in the future, under any circumstances, wear mandals. Unless, of course, you are comfortable with unalterably chilling the sexual desires of women everywhere.

Please be further advised that your wearing of mandals may constitute a violation of various federal and state laws pertaining to harassment, nuisance, and obscene communications. This letter does not constitute an exhaustive statement of our position, nor is it a waiver of any of our rights and/or remedies in this and/or any other related matter.

We demand your immediate compliance, and furthermore that you confirm in writing that all violative activity will cease immediately.

Very truly yours,

Law Firm 10

Post image from Shutterstock.com

Law Firm 10 may lack the dazzling, magnetic charisma of a girl from the hottest sorority in school, but she (arguably) makes up for that with her wit, humor, and low-maintenance-ness. Read more from Law Firm 10.

4 Comments

  1. Nishin

    May 2, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Women have every right to think this. I’m a man, albeit a young one, but I’ve found that the older I get, the less “mandals” I own and wear. They’re just… they’re just not right. Unless you’re a gladiator. In which case, go for it. But seriously, who is a gladiator anymore?

  2. A

    May 2, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Translation: It should be illegal for beta males to exhibit any sexual interest toward entitled princesses.

  3. Ellen

    May 2, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    I agree with this LF10.

    We should NOT have to put up with smelly feet on men. I dated Alan, and he NEVER cliped his toe’s and his nails were smelly and DIRTY! FOOEY.

    I made him keep his SOCK’s on when he shared my bed b/c I did NOT want to get scratched by him.

    He was horible in bed with or withut his sock’s on b/c of the alchohol effect. FOOEY!

  4. Nonyo Beeswax

    May 4, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Note to all fellow men- if you are not married, or in a relationship, and are not bound and determined to be chaste for the remainder of your life, wear some freaking shoes. It’s not hard. Tennis shoes. Loafers, if you insist. Crocs are a no. Boots only in work related endeavors (no, court in Texas does not count, more along the lines of “uber rich oil tycoon who leads from the front” kind of boots). Oxfords are always nice. But sex appeal is in inverse proportion to the exposure of male feet. Simple equation. Figure it out.

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