Law Firm 10

  • No Exit

    I’ve come to accept the yearning and melancholy that arises whenever I wake up late and ride the El after 8 AM—that’s rush hour for...

  • Serendipity and the Single Girl

    This past weekend, I was angling for a posh, Ivy League alum and instead found myself waking up next to a snoring Hoosier.

  • Facebook’s Madame Bovary

    Apparently, when it comes to lawyers having a mid-life crisis, Facebook is the new Ferrari.

  • Summer of Love

    In a few days a bunch of cretins in the form of summer associates begin their 12 weeks of pathetic play-acting around the firm.

  • Associate, Interrupted

    There are two things I’m certain of: (i) I am a fantastic associate; (ii) I am profoundly miserable. And I’m afraid there’s a direct link.

  • It Just Sucks

    Was I to believe that the only people desperate enough to spend $1,800 on It's Just Lunch were the mothers of gay sons and divorced...

  • It’s Just (the Most Expensive) Lunch (Ever)

    I’m looking for a high-earner with the financial wherewithal to slip a $20,000 ring onto my left hand after a whirlwind courtship

  • How to Lose a Non-Lawyer Boyfriend

    The key to maintaining a lawyer-civilian relationship is to mentally delete all those asocial, annoying tendencies that make us good at our jobs

  • Your Women’s Initiative Sucks

    Of all the things about this firm that make me writhe with discomfort and despair, perhaps the most notable is the Women’s Initiative.  I can...

  • Dangerous E-aisons

    Male law firm partners are awkward, middle-aged, sex-starved men who tend to mistake my professional attentiveness for flirtation