Voir dire is one of the most fascinating phases of litigation. It’s as though the potential jurors are all zoo animals and you have the opportunity to give each of them a little poke, to see how they react. As lawyers, we are taught to use the opportunity to reveal the mysterious biases hidden within a juror’s psyche and begin ever-so-subtlety to persuade them to look favorably upon our client’s cause.
But voir dire could also be an opportunity to have a little fun. The following are ten questions designed to meet the aforementioned objectives, albeit in unorthodox fashion.
||On a scale from one two to ten, how much do you like black people? #1 being “I’m a member of the KKK,” 5 being “I’m happy celebrating Martin Luther King Day, but still can’t tell the difference between Samuel L. Jackson and Laurence Fishburne,” and 10 being “I am a black person.”
||If you heard a witness describing the details of an alleged sexual assault, would that turn you on?
||If alcohol were served with lunch during the trial, how many shots of whiskey would you drink?
||Did you know that the first lawyer to make an objection is probably a liar?
||Would it affect your ability to make an unbiased decision in this case if you learned that the other attorney is a proven pedophile?
||If I have five apples and take away three apples, how many apples do I have?
||If Jesus walked on water, even a welfare bum should be able to keep his balance tiptoeing over a little spilled milk, am I right?
||You understand that even if my client is found guilty and sentenced to the maximum allowable term of incarceration, he’s still going to be out someday, and he’ll remember what you look like, right?
||Did you know that whichever lawyer speaks loudest during trial is likely telling the truth?
||Would you believe that liberal elitist doctors have conspired to leave surgical instruments inside the bodies of citizens who support a freer America?
(image: Lawyer talking to jury via Shutterstock)