The Document Review Rabble Rouser



On every document review, there is usually one guy who is vocal about the terrible working conditions. In truth, most of us feel this way. But we need the money and say nothing, accepting conditions that are less than ideal—and, on occasion, working conditions that are illegal. Garvey Harris is the guy who thinks all of us need to take a stand. He’s a rabble rouser. The problem is, we have no leverage and the bosses know it. Anyone who makes a peep is summarily dismissed, never to be heard from again, and possibly blacklisted from further doc review work. So we all suffer in silence.

Throughout the Bottom Rung, Garvey makes feeble attempts to get others around him to rise up against the tyranny. In reality, the conditions and lack of a voice are a serious problem that should be addressed. For now, though, I use comedy to shed a bit of light. For instance, Garvey complains that there is “puke on the floor.” Funny, and true enough. Because if you have never done document review before, it’s difficult to fathom spending months on a job in a windowless basement dealing with the stench of people eating, spilling food, and dropping crap on the floor. The stench can be godawful, and you come to believe that the only thing that separates doc review from third-world sweatshops is your JD.

Marcus Dalzine plays Garvey. Marcus is a successful writer in LA who actually helped craft his character. We both thought it would be interesting and humorous if he somehow compared his document review experience to what his parents had to suffer through in the civil rights era, hence the line “my parents didn’t get hosed in Chicago so I could work at some indoor plantation.”

Obviously, the document review struggle is nothing compared to the struggle for civil rights, but if there’s one thing all document reviewers can agree on it’s that we are often treated well below the acceptable standard for working in 2011.

His wife also plays the role of document reviewer in this series. I believe they met on an actual document review job, which is not that rare. Lots of people end up getting together through document reviews, as you spend an asburd amount of time with people with zero personal space. You get to know people pretty quickly.

Matt Ritter is an actor, stand-up comic, and the creator of the Bottom Rung. He's also a former lawyer. You can reach him at rittercomedy@gmail.com.

5 Comments

  1. Ellen

    January 3, 2012 at 7:18 am

    This guy has to many different faceial expresions for me. And that shirt! What is he some kind of cirecus perforemer? Come on! I work with doceument reveiwers, and they are NOT as outspoken as this guy. FOOEY on this guy! FOOEY!!!!

  2. evil lawyer

    January 3, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    DocReviewers should be slobberingly grateful–on their knees hugging the leg of the managing partner–that they have a job and stop whining about their working conditions. If they wanted a plush office and a comely or studly personal assistant or secretary, they should have become a lawyer–I mean a real lawyer.

    Look what they do get on doc reviews: ONE: the chance to hang out with other whiners like them–they can bitch about law firms all day, and after “work” in some seedy bar; if lucky, they can hang out with some attarctive but slightly “off” woman who they will sleep with out of desparation; TWO: the freedom from nagging partners like me; THREE: they don’t really need to DO anything: like a grad student writing a “Paper” (“I am writing a paper…”) they can just push paper all day and never do anything constructive. Grad students write them, professors grade them and you look at them. Good for you.

    Now shut up and get back to work

    • Guano Dubango

      January 3, 2012 at 8:45 pm

      I would NOT marry any woman who was “attractive but slightly “off” and therefore I would not sleep with any such woman out of desperation either.

      Nonetheless, I am interested in meeting such women, if only for the purpose of establishing ground rules for meeting my Aunt Ooona.

      If any of you women so qualify, please to leave your name and e-mail in a reply to me and I will consider you for the Aunt Ooona interview, which includes R/T airfare to Accra and 3 nights of accommodations at the Biltmore, American Plan.

  3. Mean Partner

    January 4, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Guano Dubango: no one asked you to MARRY them, he said you could SLEEP with them after cheap drinks and mutual desperation. Avoiding a slightly batty woman or man you did a one night stand with is a pain: but when you need to be “serviced” and only the woman missing that cherry on the parfait is available, she “beats” self help.

    AND, we all know that your incessant prowling around this site in search of some impresionable woman is the closest thing to a perpetual motion machine. So don’t tell me you wouldn’t sleep with the blonde in the doc review video even if she was off a few degrees. I would. I’d sleep with LF10 too if she were attractive (and despite what would be another long tedious journal entry about me). (well, I hope it would be long).

    I bet your Aunt Ooona would be thrilled if you did slept with some ditzy attarctive blonde. She’d probably erect a shrine in Fez to the woman that finally bedded you and made you a real man.

    • Guano Dubango

      January 4, 2012 at 7:54 pm

      I am a man of honour, Mean Partner, and that is the reason I have been in search of a righteous woman that I can bring home to my Aunt Ooona.

      Of course, all men are capable of dipping their members into the crotches of women who are non-virtuous, but that is not what I am interested in doing. I seek an upstanding and attractive US lawyer woman who will be capable of bearing me issue and becoming my life partner. This is not an easy task, as most women here are more interested in dressing in the latest fashions and eating in the finest restaurants than they are in becoming a loyal wife and a mother to my issue.

      I am not interested in merely rubbing genitals with a host of unworthy wenches who seek only to gain access to my royal lineage in Accra. The key is to have a woman who can bear me issue and will be presentable to become a true member of my entire family.

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