Eight Ways to Not Get Caught

Say “NO” To BigWhore

Every lawyer wants that golden offer from a white-shoe firm. But when you’re the one giving the offer—in this case an offer of cash for sex—make sure you’re retaining a solo practitioner. In February, we profiled the similarities between hookers and lawyers. Each woman we spoke with told us this simple fact: Had Eliot Spitzer not used an escort service, he would still be governor today.

When we spoke with Veronica Franco, a Los Angeles-area escort, about that story, she told us that independent providers don’t attract very much attention from law enforcement. “If you’re a vice cop, you go for the big prostitution rings,” she told Bitter Lawyer.

Translation: If you must use a hooker, make it a one-on-one transaction.

Cases in Point:

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Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.

19 Comments

  1. BL1Y

    July 14, 2009 at 4:41 am

    Good tips, I feel inspired.

  2. Anonymous

    July 14, 2009 at 5:07 am

    me too

  3. BL5Y

    July 14, 2009 at 6:19 am

    On #7, do people really wake up one day and say hey, I’m going to have an affair, where can I find someone?  Isn’t it more likely that the opportunity presents itself and they end up taking it?

  4. BL1Y

    July 14, 2009 at 6:51 am

    BL5Y: I think you’re right, that’s how it happens a lot of the time.  But, sites like AshleyMadison exist for a reason.  My guess is that some people are just curious to see what’s out there and haven’t committed to having an affair, or they start by just wanting to flirt and get some attention, but then things go downhill from there.  And, I’m sure there’s some people who really do just decide to have an affair.  They’re probably pissed off and do it for revenge.

  5. Doug

    July 14, 2009 at 7:11 am

    Re: The Ashley Madison question.
    I actually used the site. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to have an affair. I was in a bad relationship and I think I built to that decision overtime. It wasn’t about a specific person or an opportunity presenting itself. But basically I was just unhappy, and during that period I saw some ads for the site. From there, I went to the site, explored and eventually joined. It was three months before I ever decided to meet anyone. But the site was a good way to find that opportunity, if you will. But no, it wasn’t one of those, it’s Tuesday, I could go for some infidelity decisions.

  6. Lady law

    July 14, 2009 at 8:20 am

    Ashley Madison site sounds nuts!

  7. WilmerHale Associate

    July 14, 2009 at 8:47 am

    Sorry to post on something utterly unrelated, but I need to vent – WilmerHale has now blocked its employees from posting comments on ATL.  That is why the comments to the post about WH today are so tame and not directed towards the firm.

  8. BL1Y

    July 14, 2009 at 9:14 am

    WilmerHale associate: Are you sure it was the firm’s doing?  Sometimes associates get the firm banned by ATL.

  9. Douglas

    July 14, 2009 at 10:15 am

    wouldn’t you think these dudes would be smart enough to either not do or not get caught

  10. WilmerHale Associate

    July 14, 2009 at 10:24 am

    Yes, it was the firm, I checked with ATL and they assured me the IP address was not blocked.

  11. Confused?

    July 14, 2009 at 10:52 am

    So what’s your beef, WilmerHale Associate? That they blocked the IP? Or, do you want to tear into your employer? Or, are you just mad because the comments about your firm lack the usual spirit?
    Please share.

  12. Anon

    July 14, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Boo hoo, Wilmer Associate.  You can’t post on ATL.  Who cares?  That site is crap anyway.

  13. BL1Y

    July 14, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    WilmerHale Associate is clearly the “juicy insides” guy on ATL and is upset about not being able to add to the commentary about Sotomayor.

  14. Anon

    July 14, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    BLIY—definitely.

  15. WilmerHale Associate

    July 14, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    I can only assume the firm was upset that ATL comments were bad, and blocked them because it’s bad publicity for the firm.  I am disappointed that they felt the need to do so.  Other firms publicly announce layoffs and allow their people to comment appropriately.  This stealth stuff at WH is not the way to go.  But I agree, ATL sucks and BitterLawyer is way more entertaining.

  16. Alma Federer

    July 15, 2009 at 1:03 am

    Gawd, you men are so sex-crazed!  I can’t believe an entire post dedicated to the perils you face when you can’t keep your zippers up.  Stop thinking of sex only as recreational.  It is also procreational.  Once you understand the distinction, you will be able to handle it better.

  17. BL1Y

    July 15, 2009 at 9:28 am

    Alma: Learn the meaning of “also.” If sex is recreational but also procreational, then it’s still also recreational.  What an idiot.

  18. Hannah Palindrome

    July 20, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Don’t get married!

  19. Breathing Easier

    January 11, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Interesting that this blog would juxtapose a thread regarding escorts / cheating / lawyers / infidelity with a thread on social media. I was profiled on several escort blacklists (www.nationalblacklist.com and http://www.badboyclientlist.com) with all of my personal and professional information, including photos from my since-closed Facebook page. If you’re going to step-out on your spouse, the potential damage is huge. Anything that can be found may be used against you. Sound familiar ?

    Incidentally, it was a lawyer who got me off (no pun intended). His link is http://www.wix.com/hobbyistdefender/hobbyistdefender. To quote a line from Hill Street Blues…..”be careful out there”.

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