Find Out What Happens When You Flip Off a Judge

Once upon a time, in a land far far away and slightly to the North of this website’s primary audience, a man was getting sentenced to jail for a long, long time. And he knew it was going to be a long, long time. And he knew the judge who was going to sentence him – they’d been meeting in a professional capacity for a long, long time. And he knew he had nothing to lose.

So, the sentencing hearing commences. Both sides make their pitch. The judge stops to consider his decision but says first: “is there anything you want to say, sir, before I pass sentence?”

“Oh yes Judge. Can I use these?”

He reaches into his pocket. The vigilant Sheriffs react. They seize the papers he’s pulling of his pocket. They approach the bench. They hand the judge the two small business card sized pieces of paper.

One is orange. The other yellow.

“Oh no,” says the Judge. “Those are no good here. Nice try though.”

He hands the papers to the court clerk. She struggles mightily to avoid laughter and hands one card each to prosecutor and defence.

They struggle mightily to contain themselves.

The Sheriffs reclaim the papers and secure their lawful prizes.

So . . if you’re ever in the right courthouse and the Sheriffs let you into their office and you look upon the wall, you will see for your disbelieving eyes the reason why board game night at the local jail is a thing of the past.

Two Monopoly “get out of jail” free cards.

That’s how you conduct yourself in court.