Bitter Lawyer is launching a new deposition video series shortly and, in celebration, we’ve collected five of the most heinous video depo excerpts on YouTube. While we’re omitting one classic one, which we’ll highlight later in our series, here are the five we’ve curated so far. Consider this a great resource in how not to take or conduct a deposition. Or in how to be an asshat.
You Have a Case of Incipient Verbal Diarrhea
Lawyer Joe Jamail took the deposition of an expert witness, Texas style. Highlights include the quote about incipient verbal diarrhea, Joe calling one of the attorneys “fat boy,” and the deponent asking “are you threatening to fight?” Actually, watch the whole thing, it nearly leads to a fight.
Phone People, Would You Put Your Mute Buttons On?
Pro tip: if you are doing a video deposition with a hookup over the phone, make sure all of the “phone people” have agreed in advance not to have sex or to watch porn.
My Jurisprudential Rectum
We like this one not so much for the outrageous question as for the deposing attorney making sure he gets credit for it. He actually pops his head into the video to make sure you know who it is.
Don’t Lecture Me, Puppy
This video made its rounds in 2007. It involves a lawsuit between Testmasters and Blueprint Test Prep. It also involves generally outrageous deposition behavior of the defending attorney, Joseph Kouri. Highlight? Start watching at 2:30 for the line “Don’t lecture me, puppy. I was doing this when you was [sic] still chasing cheerleaders.” If you get bored later, which you shouldn’t if you are a litigator, skip to 6:40 for the finale and what can only be the laughter of relief from the court reporter.
Was That a Yes or a No?
Watch as the deponent explains in detail his own theory of what he did, only to get a question at the end “Was that a Yes or a No?” The response is classic, and one that I’m sure many witnesses would love to let loose at times.
Sure, there are others, including one involving masks and falling lights and deponents allegedly being injured. But stay tuned as we get ready to launch our new video deposition adventure. We’ll get to them.