I Don’t Want Co-Workers at My Wedding


QI’m getting married in six months, and my fiancée and I plan to invite 300 guests. Is it rude to not invite the partners and associates I work with? Right now, I plan on only inviting my three closest friends from the firm. Mistake?

AIt’s your wedding. Do what you want. Don’t worry about being political.  Besides, the partners and associates you’d be inviting don’t want to go to your goddamn wedding anyway.  I promise. And if they went, they’d be sort of miserable. Why invite people to your wedding that don’t really want to be there?  Do yourself—and your co-workers—a favor. Don’t invite them.

Ex-Bitter is a former big firm lawyer who now doles out advice to anyone who asks. Got a question? Email it to advice@bitterlawyer.com. Or read more Advice from an Ex-Bitter.

6 Comments

  1. Al Dickman

    November 10, 2008 at 6:05 am

    Agreed.  They’d be as bored there as your relatives and friends would be bored with them.  Besides, who wants a few stuffed shirts sitting there taking notes on you and your bride.  Moreover, if anyone gets sauced there and should do anything “memorable”, you would always have the partners to have to explain all of that away.  So keep those schmucks happy (and away from your wedding.  Chances are you will be at another firm in 5 years anyway, so why try to curry favor with some a-holes you will be litigating against a few years down the road.

  2. Pacific Reporter

    November 10, 2008 at 6:35 am

    TITCR. Your co-workers don’t want to go to your lame wedding. In general, weddings are pretty dull unless you know a lot of other people there. You can start worrying about playing politics with your co-workers when you run for office. Until then, stick with friends and family.

  3. Ricky Proehletariat

    November 10, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Do not invite them.  I work in a group with 12 other attorneys, four of whom I genuinely wanted to invite to our wedding.  So as not to offend anyone, I went ahead and invited my entire working group.  Several of the partners who received invitations made comments that I was just milking them for a gift (not entirely untrue, I suppose).  Other people RSVP’d but then didn’t show.  We probably wasted at least $400 on food for people from my group who RSVP’d but didn’t show.  The worst was a senior associate who called me to RSVP two weeks after the RSVP cutoff.  At that point, we had to waste an entire evening revising the seating assignments.  Her and her husband wound up no-showing and did not send a gift, either.  Once more for emphasis: Do not invite them.

    • Seriously?

      July 13, 2012 at 8:04 pm

      “Her and her husband”?

  4. Jasmine

    November 17, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    definitely don’t invite.

  5. rake it in

    March 17, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    dude, use your brain. you should invite your partners. they’ll likely not come because they’ve got shit tons better to do than spend some more leisurely time with some associate they can’t even yell at…BUT, they will probably send you a gift for your trouble.

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