I Plan to Lie on My Law School App

20 comments

by Ex-Bitter on May 19, 2009 in Columns

I’ve never been someone who could imagine caring any less about letting my conscience be my guide. Coming out of high school, I knew that all undergrad schools threw a fit over having extracurriculars, community service, etc. etc. So, I boldfaced lied all over my application to get into a top-20 college. I’m not unintelligent, and maybe I could’ve still gotten in without it, but if no one ever gets caught, why the hell would I risk it?

Now that law school is approaching, I’m pretty much planning on doing the same thing. With all the top law schools getting so competitive that soft factors are becoming more relevant—and schools like Boalt giving all kinds of lip service to wanting “well-rounded applicants”—why shouldn’t I just make them up? Would law schools ever know? Isn’t this just the kind of deceitful and amoral thing that will make me a good lawyer?

If you don’t get caught, it ain’t cheating, right?

Hey, I know, maybe you shouldn’t even go to law school.  Just forge a Harvard diploma.  A transcript too.  Then get a job at Cravath and see what happens.  Who knows, maybe you’ll make partner.

Here’s the deal, dude.  You’re kind of a douchebag.  “Getting over” is fun, I get it.  And some good-natured embellishments and resume inflation is par for the course when it comes to law school applications.  But flat-out lying and fraud is lame.  Just is. 

And no, being a duplicitous scumbag won’t make you good lawyer.  It will either make a great one, or get you disbarred. 

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  • Alex Hump

    Yea, this guy bites the big one.  I don’t think I want him to be a member of my club.  He’s the kind of dipshit that we used to beat the living shit out of in junior high school. He also never got any tail.  It looks like he’s one bitter dude.

  • Anon

    This kid makes me sick.

  • Anonymous

    Why doesn’t this kid become a banker?

  • BL1Y

    Sure, lying might be lame.  But having lousy career prospects your second summer because you didn’t get into a better school is pretty lame too.  There’s a chance the lie could be the difference in a $160k (er, now $128k) big law job and a $40k government gig.  But, my guess is that if he lies his way into a better school, he’s going to be in over his head and too lazy to put forth the effort to take advantage of his good luck.  Lying at this point might get him into a slightly better school, but eventually the skim sinks to the bottom (or whatever’s the opposite of the cream rising to the top).

  • Mous

    Okay let’s not flip out on this. I mean really, what can he possibly do, tell Boalt he’s a clarinet virtuoso? Who cares, I really don’t think anything more than the average exaggeration can get you anywhere anyhow, unless he plants to make up work experience or something. Besides, it’s a little strange to say that inflating the truth is okay but lying isn’t. Where exactly is the line there?

  • Daily reader

    We all live in a gray area, do you agree.?  The world is not always black and white – we are not in “confession” here.  If he does what he wants to do, makes it into a top school, Good For Him!  If he doesn’t have the drive to compete and make the grades it will be his lost with a “life learning lesson” (deep shit here).  Did not attend a top school, is it much more challenging than others?

  • Alma Federer

    This is terrible, and some of y ou guys condone this behavior?  What is wrong with you dummies?  This guy is a total loser, giving us honest lawyers a bad name.  I would definitely turn this sap in, if I knew who he was.  I loathe losers like him.

  • BL1Y

    It’s cute when an open bigot complains about someone else giving lawyers a bad name.

  • Alma Federer

    BL1Y, How you can call me bigotted is beyond me– I just don’t like self-centered people like you, and you are not a protected class, last time I looked.  Stick to the facts, little boy, and you should be OK.

  • BL1Y

    …Probably has something to do with all the posts where you say categorically that women are superior to men.

  • Nikita

    Oh my god Alex Hump, are you that guy?
    I swear from the tone I can smell the bitch in you.

  • Craig

    If you are willing to lie on your applications, then odds are this question is full of lies too. Did you really get into a top 20 college? Are you lying about lying on your college apps? Are you even planning on applying to law school, or did you just want to submit a question to Bitter Lawyer? Who knows, because I sure as hell would not believe a word you say.

  • notanidiot

    The problem with lies is that they’ll come out eventually. People always get caught. Maybe you’ll get into law school. You might even graduate. You might even get a job in BIGLAW. What the fuck will you do when your boss walks in the door, goes “hey you were in crew at your undergrad right? I need you to go talk to Jim from CLIENT since he was in there too”?
    Cause Jim is gonna know you weren’t. And then he’ll tell your boss. And your boss will check the rest of your references, then you’ll be fucked.

  • Ace in the Hole

    BL1Y is right Alma, you’ve posted many statements here containing negative characterizations of men in general rather than the posters and actively advocated sex-based discrimination.  Being prejudiced against a “protected class” is not the measure of whether someone is a bigot – law is not ethics or morality, and your apparent confusion of these concepts makes you seem surprisingly stupid as well as bigoted.  Interesting.

  • Anon

    Craig: Once again, you make a good point.  I don’t believe this idiot either.

  • really tho

    Im sick to my stomach that this guys asks whether something deceitful and amoral will make him a good lawyer. honestly thats not even funny, Dude you’re desperate be honest if you’re at a juncture where you feel like lying about extra curriculars is going to help you, you probably need not apply because even tho you’re not unintelligent you’ll be surrounded by people that actually are intelligent and the curve will eat you alive.  I hope you do get into a good school that way you can contribute to the rest of the class looking good while you die slow trying to figure out the difference between parole and the parol evidence rule.  The world had a special place for people with your slightly above average intelligence,,,, its called chiropractic medicine don’t worry you’ll be great and you’ll make a lot of money but leave law school to the people who deserve to be there

  • Content Associate

    These are the kinds of people who end up committing malpractice on a large scale.  I hope no law school take him.

  • Nemesis

    I don’t know, beyond all the college BS (which we all sounded like at some point, remember), I think he’s got a little bit of a point. I mean, does it really matter that one 162 LSAT did 20 hours of Christmas in April and the other 162 LSAT did not? Especially considering that it was probably actually 6 hours with embellishment from their supervisor, and that 6 hours involved painting a single wall in a house 5% of the time and making religiously-acceptable jokes with other service fakers for the rest of the day. Honestly, I think schools are starting to split hairs, and while I certainly don’t condone lying, I think it’s BS that schools really look at that crap.

  • M

    I don’t think law school admissions are nearly as concerned about extracurricular activities as undergrad admissions are.  They are interested in anything showing interest in law, and interest in a specific area relating to a law practice; beyond that they might want well-rounded people who did at least some activity.  The reason is simple – things that indicate interest in law mean those applicants are more likely to succeed and get better paying jobs.  Beyond that, extracurriculars aren’t that relevant since once someone is in practice, they aren’t likely to have time for them anyway.
    Overall, the admissions process is mostly based on grades and LSAT scores.  Law schools feel alot of pressure to keep these as high as possible due to the ranking criteria, so they are more likely to favor slightly better credentials over someone else with more extracurriculars.

  • Tex Judge

    It is wrong to embellish your application and certainly if he is caught all kinds of bad things will likely occur. However, why are law schools, and the higher education industry in general, allowed to continually jack up tuitions far in excess of inflation and misrepresent the value of their degrees and the New York- dominated national media never report on this? The tuition at my law school (a T-1 school) has gone from $3500 in 1978 to $43000 in 2011, yet starting salaries for those grads lucky enough to find jobs have not even come close to keeping pace.

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