I Want to Lie on My Resume


QBased on my GPA, I’m in the top 12% of my class. Would it be cheating to round up and put “top 10%” on my resume? Do firms really scrutinize rankings and grades that closely? I don’t want to be a cheater, but “top 10” sounds better than “top 12.” Know what I mean?

ATop 5% sounds even better, so why not go with that? Better yet, say you’re Editor-in-Chief of the Harvard Law Review. Went to Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship. Played shortstop for the Yankees. You see where I’m going, right? Lying on resumes isn’t cool. If you’re top 12%, say that. Top 12%. Not worth lying—and damaging your credibility—over 2%.

Ex-Bitter is a former big firm lawyer who now doles out advice to anyone who asks. Got a question? Email it to advice@bitterlawyer.com. Or read more Advice from an Ex-Bitter.

11 Comments

  1. Spanky

    October 10, 2008 at 5:31 am

    “I don’t want to be a cheater”?  Yes, you do.  You seek absolution.

  2. Southern Lawyer

    October 10, 2008 at 8:36 am

    That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!!!  You are going to lie over 2%??? If I found out one of our prospective hires lied there would be no job offer.  I would then call every lawyer I know and make fun of you and tell them what you did.  Good luck getting a job then.  The legal community is not as big as you think.

    Is it worth that?

  3. fiadjfiasdf

    October 10, 2008 at 9:06 am

    does that really matter? top 12%? wouldn’t it be top 15%?

  4. Al Dickman

    October 10, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    This guy is a dork.  If he doesn’t know enough to be truthful, he should not be in law school.  If someone asked how long his dick was, would he round up?  Instead of 3” would he say 6” or just round to 10”?  Tell this guy to become a hermaphrodite.

  5. Lady of Law

    October 10, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Who are you, Al Dickman?

  6. Bitter Fan

    October 10, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    Think we should begin a petition to get Dickman of the site.  His lame, college, unfunny humor ain’t working.  All in favor, say “I!”

  7. Insanelawstudent

    October 10, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    I. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! How old are you, five? Grow up. Rounding up from 12% to 10 % is extremely lame. Are you going to be one of those lawyers who give the profession a bad name?

  8. Anonymous

    October 11, 2008 at 8:28 am

    The posts from Al are witty and spot on.  Keep on posting, Mr. Dickman because if he stops all we will be left with are comments from gnomes like those hereinbelow (myself excluded, thank you very much).  As to the issue at bar, the subject gentleman should not misstate his class standing.  It will certainly change from semester to semester anyway.

  9. Bitter Solicitor

    October 12, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    I agree with Southern Lawyer.  The fact that you have even asked this question leads me to believe that you’ve already done this, and are seeking someone to tell you that it’s OK.
    It’s not OK.  There are white lies (No, honey, that doesn’t make you look fat).  There are medium sized lies (Sorry, mom, I didn’t know she was your boss).  Then there are huge glaring lies that give insight into your character as a human being (I’m in the top-10% of my law school class–when you’re top 12%). 
    Again, like the answer you got…over 2%?!?!  If you’re willing to roll the dice like this, I’m not going to let you near a trial or client.

  10. don't be a douche

    October 30, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    ~10% is adequate.  Who the fuck distinguishes b/t 10 and 12 percentile?

  11. Scotious

    December 17, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    I say, ask the people who are in the top 11% of your class how they feel about it.

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