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Bitter News, 7-3-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as ornery as Pez hating on a whole lot of their own kind:

• You thought all the U.S. News and World Report rankings debate and debauchery started and ended with law schools, but no longer—the lawyer mentality of envy and self consciousness will continue. The publication announced today that a “Best Lawyer” Law Firm rankings set will drop in fall 2010. TTT law firms? [Wall Street Journal Law Blog]

• “Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor earned a ‘well-qualified’ rating from the American Bar Association on Tuesday as she prepared for Senate hearings next week.” Even though no one really knows anything about the crap that went down at Sotomayor & Associates. Looks like it could have been the Mad Men of the 80’s. [Associated Press]

• Yesterday’s poll overwhelmingly indicated that nearly 80% of voters would prefer to see their name on mid-size regional firm letterhead than be a top-ranking associate at Wachtell, the nation’s most profitable M&A firm. And that migration away from BigLaw seems to be new preference for clients these days too. “U.S. businesses increasingly are handing work to less expensive small and midsize firms, typically those with fewer than 200 attorneys.” Why? Simple. A cheaper billable hour. Just don’t tell Bingham McCutchen. [Wall Street Journal]

• A seventh grader who’s clearly not a Juno fan has sued her school claiming her First Amendment rights were violated when the principal insisted she change out of her “Abortion: Growing, Growing, Gone” t-shirt. And ol’ Eugene Volokh thinks Supreme Court precedent supports the girl’s case. [Fox News]

• Embezzling law firm secretaries should go stand trial in Kuala Lampur. A law firm secretary there was sentenced to a year in prison and a stroke of the rotan. How does that sound, Melissa Espinoza? What’s that, Paula Jean Hufner? [Bernama.com]

• Law firms doin’ the hussle up the pro bono circuit. Holla, Jenner & Block. [American Lawyer]

• Wonder when the economic havoc on law firms will end? Just ask an astrologer. Other lawyers are—might as well. [Times Online]

• What the Judges are Up to Lately:
—Judge Sandra Watts suppressed big Dix’s mentally disabled “fight club” bouts he videoed. [AP]
—Judge George Wu temporarily dismissed MO MySpace cyberbully case. [ComputerWorld]
—Judge G. Mullen may put an injunction in reverse and re-suspend NASCAR’s Jeremy Mayfield. [AP]
—A federal judge is being requested for a reduction in illegal download damages. [AP]
—Judge Robert Gerber may take the Chevys to the junkyard and close 70 dealerships. [WSJ]

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