I’ve Dated My Co-Worker’s Fiancé

QTwo years ago, I had sex with my co-worker’s fiancé. They weren’t dating at the time. Don’t even think they knew each other. Anyway—the other day, my co-worker told me his fiancé “knew” me. Didn’t say anything else. Just said that she knew me. Should I mention to my co-worker that we dated? Should I call his fiancé and find out what she said? I want to keep a good working relationship. Help.

ANot your problem, homie. Just play it cool and keep your mouth shut. Not your fault he proposed to someone you shagged years ago when she was single. Cost of doing business.

Ex-Bitter is a former big firm lawyer who now doles out advice to anyone who asks. Got a question? Email it to advice@bitterlawyer.com. Or read more Advice from an Ex-Bitter.


  1. Al Dickman

    September 24, 2008 at 3:08 am

    Good advice.  Best to forget this.  Once he marries, she will start turning up at firm functions (picnics/formal dinners, etc), so you’ll sooner or later meet again.  By then, it really be ancient history and nothing to worry about.  Who knows, by that time, she may have pumped out a kid and put on 35 pounds and may nearly be unrecognizable!

  2. Guest

    September 24, 2008 at 10:29 am

    Good advice—HUGE mistake to bring this up…ever.

  3. 2L Advocate

    September 24, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    You ought to try and bag that again…you know..one for the road.

  4. Anonymous

    September 24, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    If she married a lawyer, chances are she looks like a moose.  I wouldn’t go out on a limb to “bag” her, unless you mean put a bag over her head.  If the lawyer in question wants to have sex, he can surely find better tail outside of the confines of the firm (or the spouses of the lawyers in the firm).  There’s an old saying my dad told me:  “Don’t stick your pen in the company’s inkwell”.  Tho dated, it would apply here too.  A more recent version of this saying is:  “Don’t shit where you eat”.  I never fully understood the latter, but it may have application here.  Remember this, buddy before you start pointing your pencil where it don’t belong.

  5. Do That To Me One More Time

    September 24, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    It will be far more amusing and interesting, for you, for her, and above all, for us, the readers, if you do her again (preferably at her bachelorette party, or better yet, the wedding), and post about that and the ensuing drama. 
    Remember, it’s all in the name of good journalism.

  6. Anonymous

    September 25, 2008 at 6:19 am


  7. Alma Federer

    September 25, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    Who says she would shag this fart anyway??  She “knew” him, which meant that she knew how inadequate he might onc have been.  Now he is probably losing his hair and she is getting MARRIED, so she should not be interested in a roll in the hay from this weasel, anyway.  At least I wouldn’t so why do the men on this site think she would have sex with this loser now?  Be real, men–no one is interested in your old, little weenie.

  8. Toledo lawyer

    September 26, 2008 at 5:00 am

    My favorite saying regarding dating/sleeping with people at work is “don’t fish off the company pier.” Of course, I’m not sure that really applies here anyway.  I say he lets it drop and not worry about it.

  9. Al Dickman

    September 26, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    That’s interesting, Toledo Lawyer; and particularly apt, as many of the “catches” I’ve found in the legal profession smell like fish that have been sitting out on the pier out in the sun for a few hours.  Pee-yoo!  Just be careful if you have to go diving off that pier!  The word douche bag should be in the vocabulary and the closet of these women, and they should learn to use them before asking us to pleasure them.

  10. I'M A ROCKSTAR !!!

    November 2, 2008 at 4:35 am

    The woman he’s about to marry is his “fiancee”, not “fiance”. I found a TYPO !!!!!!!!!!

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