Now that summer is officially over and the whites go back into the closet for another nine months, we at Bitter Lawyer have to put the old workboots back on and get back to the grind. Unfortunately, some of you are still unemployed and probably sitting around in your tighty whiteys past Labor Day. Here’s a list of fields that are hot and jobs that are in demand. Jobs even a lawyer could do… maybe.
Medical and public health social workers; special education teachers, preschool, kindergarten and elementary school; first-line supervisors/managers of personal service workers; occupational therapists; and social and human service assistants. But let’s face it, to do this jobs you must A) not care about money and B) have a big heart. Do you really qualify as both? Doubtful.
Network and computer systems administrators; computer systems analysts; computer support specialists; market research analysts; and customer service representatives. Let’s be honest again. Are you good with numbers and technology? Of course not. The last one on this list is easy enough, but do you really want to live in Mumbai?
Physician assistants; physical therapist aides; speech-language pathologists; physical therapist assistants; and physical therapists. This requires patience, which many lawyers possess. But do you want to touch the flesh of another human being?
Heating, air conditioning refrigerator installation, septic tank servicers and sewer pipe cleaners; telecommunications equipment installers and repairers, except line installers; purchasing agents, Do we need to spell out why this is a no-no? You wouldn’t know a septic tank from a shark tank. You’re a lawyer. You’re not a real man. Or woman.
Companies are looking to go green and independence from foreign oil is a top national priority. How many times have you ever said to yourself “I am an innovator.” If the answer is zero, then maybe this is not the field for you either.
While high-end restaurants may be hurting as consumers tighten their belts, fast-food places and other quick and inexpensive options continue to thrive. Although many jobs in this sector are obviously low-paying, opportunities also exist for restaurant managers, franchise owners, and independent small-business owners. Now we are talking. We are quite sure many of you have had that drunken conversation with your friends about opening up a restaurant at some point in your lives. Well now is your chance. Repeat after me. “Welcome to Wendy’s, if you need anything I am the assistant manager.”
We’ve heard that the world’s oldest profession still pays pretty good. Sadly, this seems like a fit. Why? Because it’s not that different from being a lawyer. 1) It’s a service job; 2) High hourly rate, some would say excessive; 3) it’s a profession that is often ridiculed; 4) you don’t have to be that attractive, in fact, most employees in both fields aren’t; 5) your clients often mistreat you; and 6) you wake up every day hating yourself.
If none of these jobs are right for you, don’t sweat it. Just keep sitting around in your tighty whiteys until the market turns around in 2-3 years.
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