Legal Humor Roundup for October 13, 2011

If a guy knocked on your door saying he was a doctor offering free breast exams, would you take a chance on one? Plus, dutiful mom picks up son after armed robbery, how to build a juvenile record by reckless s’moring, the futility of banning an entire genre of music, and charges against Seattle “real-life superhero” dropped. It’s the happy hour law review for Thursday, October 13, 2011.

1Legal Blog Watch tipped us off to a story today involving a man in Florida who posed as a doctor hawking free door-to-door breast exams. Two women took him up on the offer. And that’s where it ends. He’s now struck a deal with prosecutors, though there are no details yet as to whether he’ll spend time in prison for sexual battery or for practicing medicine without a license. Or both. | Orlando Sentinel

2Best quote of the day goes to a California lawmaker who tried to ban electronic rave music. As in the whole genre. Says proponent Fiona Ma: “We found out later on that, constitutionally, you cannot ban a type of music. Plus, I . . . didn’t really know what was going on.” |

3It starts out like most armed robberies gone bad. Man walks into a store, pulls out a flare gun, demands money. Shop owner returns fire, robber runs. The kicker? Mom picks up the suspect a few minutes later in her blue truck. The real kicker? Police say the “mother’s involvement did not warrant an arrest.” Must be parental immunity. |

4Update on the real-life superhero community we reported on a few days ago. Assault have been dropped against Ben Fodor, the Seattle man who dresses up in body armor and patrols the streets fighting crime as “Phoenix Jones.” Interestingly, Ben/Phoenix arrived in court wearing a hood, “which a judge’s assistant asked him to remove. When told that charges had not been filed against him, Fodor put the rubber hood back on and exited the court with a swarm of media cameras following him.” | CNN

5Three girls in Illinois Colorado may soon have a juvenile record for . . . reckless s’moring. When firefighters responded to a report of a grass fire in Aurora, Illinois Colorado, they found three girls cooking s’mores over a small campfire near a high school. As the Denver Post reported today in its “breaking news” section, the girls “did not try to flee.” Unfortunately, though, they were subsequently cited for “reckless kindling of a fire.” | Denver Post


The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at


  1. ceeb

    October 14, 2011 at 9:27 am

    For number 5, that’s Aurora, COLORADO.

    • Gregory Luce

      October 14, 2011 at 9:41 am

      Ooops. Thanks. I guess it doesn’t make sense for the Aurora, Illinois fire department to respond to a Denver-area grass fire.

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