Legal Humor Roundup for October 4, 2011


Finnish lawyers ask “is this sexual harassment?” And Lowering the Bar reports on a man’s quest to hire someone to kill his girlfriend, including a plan to wear a bearskin and maul her to death. Plus, a schmuck named Schmuck gets caught tagging, snake shit served up in a domestic assault, and Namby Pamby wonders what court would be like under National Football League rules. It’s the happy hour law review for Tuesday, October 4, 2011.

1AdWeek picked up this lawyer video ad from the Association of Finnish Lawyers, which features an office worker licking a Popsicle. The ad ends with the question: Is this sexual harassment? View it for yourself and, if your answer is yes then, sorry, the video’s NSFW. | AdWeek

2This first appeared in Lowering the Bar yesterday (and is on Legal Blog Watch today) but we had already sent the happy hour law review to the press before we saw the post. Anyway, a man in New York had two plans to kill his ex-girlfriend. One involved paying a hit man to kill her in a car crash. The other involved wearing a bear skin and special bear claw boots, mauling her, and making it look like a random bear attack. He’s now going to prison. | Lowering the Bar

3A snake drama unfolded in Ohio recently, best described by the WEWS Newsnet5.com story of an alleged domestic assault:

Pennell tells police that she grabbed a poisonous coral snake from its holding tank and threatened to let it go if Rudisill didn’t let her leave. She says Rudisill grabbed the snake by the tail, took excrement from it and shoved his hand in her mouth.

4Best headline of the day: Schmuck Arrested for Tagging Building. Turns out it was Christifer Schmuck, who police observed getting out of his car and proceeding to spraypaint a vacant building. Asked what he was doing, the shmuck allegedly said “doing something stupid.” | MyFoxBoston.com

4SIn honor of the new iPhone 4S, a bonus 4S post for today relates to a Montana man who claims he was assaulted by a “couple of Russians,” who beat him up at a kegger and stole his car, then led police on a chase during which the man’s “2004 Mitsubishi SUV crossed a field, blasted through a wooden fence and over a phone junction box, drove into someone’s yard, swerved around a house and came to a stop in front of a closed iron gate.” | Missoulian

5Bitter Lawyer contributor Namby Pamby has a post over at the Constitutional Daily in which he wonders how best to implement football rules in the courtroom, including “the judge taking a more active role in objections, throwing a yellow flag and imposing the same penalty as a false start: five yards and repeat the question.” | Constitutional Daily

The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at info@bitterlawyer.com.

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