In a banner day, we get six judges who go nuts on the bench, divorce on the grounds of Alzheimer’s, and a guy who has changed his name from George Blackburn to Led Zeppelin II (obviously not to be confused with Zeppelin III or IV). And only in the midwest can you find a pothead father of seven stealing a jar of coins from his kids’ Sunday school teacher. Welcome to the Bitter Lawyer happy hour law review for Thursday, September 15. The drinks are on us.
1We heart cracked.com and its headlines. Like this one: 6 Judges Who Went Completely Insane on the Bench. Candidates include the rock, paper, scissors judge, a judge that rocked out on Wayne’s World in his opinion, and one who gave up and just asked counsel to write their indeciperable arguments in crayon. Enjoy. | Cracked.com
2In sickness and in, wait, start over. In sickness, except in cases of Alzheimer’s, and in health, I do thee wed. Pat Robertson comes up with a bad act within the defense of marriage: divorce on the basis of Alzheimer’s. | Gawker
3Pop quiz. Who said this and why did they say it? “With all due respect to our witnesses from the Association of Reptile Keepers, repealing a so-called job-killing regulation to allow more pythons, boa constrictors and anacondas into the United States is not the kind of bold, bipartisan solution Americans are looking for to help the economy.” Shit, and we just bought into anaconda futures last week. | Talking Points Memo
4We’re not sure what makes this weird, funny or both: a purloined jar of coins, a pothead father of seven, or dad burglarizing the home of his kid’s Bible study teacher. Wait. It’s in Omaha. That’s it. Thank God the guy has an attorney. | Omaha World-Herald
5Ahh, becoming Led Zeppelin. No, really, actually becoming Led Zeppelin. As in legally changing your name from George to Led, last name Zeppelin. No, Zeppelin II. As we like to say, what is and what should never be. Ramble on, Led. | stltoday.com