Legal Humor Roundup for September 19, 2011


It’s one of those rare weak days for legal humor. Maybe it’s the Emmy Awards show hangover. Or just basic fatigue on the part of dumb criminals doing dumb things. Today, we mercilessly keep the dumb criminals away, unless you think it’s stupid to steal a 10-foot fiberglass giraffe. Or get baked as Elmo and tweet about it under the name “Qwikster,” the name Netflix now apparently wants to use for its DVD-by-mail service. Welcome back to the happy hour law review, this one for Monday, September 19, 2011.

1Hey, but we can work with that, no? Fresh off a huge slice of humble pie, Netflix announced that it is splitting off its streaming video service from its DVD-by-mail service. The new name of the DVD-by-mail division? Qwikster. Turns out, though, that some folks are already operating with that name, including Stoner Elmo, a guy who likes to burn a few while tweeting. | Mashable

2Sometimes the headline says it all: Stuffed Bear Ejected From Courthouse Lobby as Violating ‘Decorum.’ I dunno. We’ve seen worse offenders of various court decorum rules, though most did not involve taxidermied attorney climbing a branch to take out a fake beehive. As far as we are aware. | New York Law Journal

3This is one of those we feel obligated to include because of its prurient interest. It also reminds us of last week’s nod to Comedians at Law and its post on what nom de guerre to use for your reputable services. This time, an assistant New York attorney general is suspended on account of an alleged after-hours fetish party business. | New York Post

4Missing: ten foot fiberglass giraffe. If found return to owner’s front yard, where it was last seen before known large fiberglass animal thieves loaded it on to a truck and absconded with it. | Kitsap Sun

5A photo of the arrested SpongeBob came across our desk last week but we passed. But when Legal Blog Watch includes the following question in its Three Burning Questions series, we had to include it this week:

My friend says she saw SpongeBob Squarepants getting taken away by police after being in an actual fistfight with two women on Hollywood Blvd. today. I say she didn’t see that because (a) SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea, and (b) SpongeBob wouldn’t do that anyway. Who is right?

Not only that, Legal Blog Watch has the video to show it, thanks to TMZ, which apparently always has a camera running down by Hollywood Boulevard. | Legal Blog Watch

The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at info@bitterlawyer.com.

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