Legal Humor Roundup for September 28, 2011


The Anti-Theft Lunch Bag prevents colleagues from swiping your sandwich from the law firm refrigerator. If only they made something to catch those office miscreants who drain all the milk in the fridge. Because they would be so fired. We lead with a PR executive’s threat to fire anyone caught draining the communal milk. Plus, bailing out your boyfriend with hot credit cards, denying the pants you are wearing to court are yours, and a lawyer who now counts up to 75 kids as his own. It’s the happy hour law review for Wednesday, September 28, 2011.

1Drink all the milk and you will be in a world of pain. The head of public relations firm in New Jersey will fire the next person who doesn’t replace the milk in the fridge when it runs out. Wait, the email goes like this: “[i]f I catch someone not replacing the milk… then I am going to fire you. I’m not joking. You will be fired for not replacing the milk, and have fun explaining that one to your next employer.” | Gawker

2There are stupid criminals, and then there are stupid criminals who try to bail out stupid criminals. We wrote about driving drunk to pick up your drunk driving boyfriend. This time, it’s trying to bail your boyfriend out of jail by using recently stolen credit cards. Ooops. | Central New York YNN

3When advising a client on what to wear to court, include what to leave at home and out of the client’s the pockets. And advise them not to make stupid statements. A man in Washington was arrested at the courthouse this week after he tried to bring Oxycodone and Depo-Testosterone to court with him. When asked about the alleged contraband, the man simply said “these are not my pants.” | Kitsap Sun

4First reported by the Boston Globe, then picked up by the ABA Journal, then riffed on by Above the Law, and now appearing here. It’s the derivative story of a lawyer turned sperm donor who counts up to 75 donations as his kids, possibly growing to 120 to 140 by the time he’s all done. | Above the Law

5A judge in Minnesota recently approved service of process by “email, “Facebook, Myspace or any other social networking site.” The ABA Journal magazine reports that, while more common in foreign countries, domestic electronic service of process is still rare– but perhaps not for much longer. | ABA Journal

The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at info@bitterlawyer.com.

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