Legal Humor Roundup for November 11, 2011


It’s 11-11-11, and in binary legal humor we’ve got a Canadian lawyer proposing a new “taxonomy of Twitter retweets.” Plus, threatening to blow up Best Buy, pushing the hemorrhoid defense, suing over a referee’s blown call, and a satirical legal news site claims there are now more lawyers named Brian than there are named Bob. Go figure. It’s the happy hour law review for Friday, November 11, 2011.

1In this week’s entry for frivolous lawsuit of the month, we have parents of a high school football team suing a New Mexico state association over a referee’s blown call. Update: the parents’ injunction, which asked that the team be included in the high school playoffs, was denied. | KOAT

2Legal Blog Watch has a post today about a newly proposed “Retweet Taxonomy” from Canadian lawyer and blogger Antonin Pribetic. | Legal Blog Watch

3Satirical legal news site Turnip News reports the “startling” news that there are now more lawyers named Brian than there are named Bob. | Turnip News

4A homeless man in Austin, Texas, was convicted of slashing a car’s tires in a neighborhood that has a string of more than 390 tire-slashing incidents in the last four years. His defense: he just wants medical attention for his hemorrhoids. As he told the court, “Ok, I’m going to tell you the truth on this one. It doesn’t sound right, but it is. I have had hemorrhoids at that time, super duper bad.” | YNN/Austin

5Meh. I mean, there was already the guy who actually firebombed a Taco Bell drive-thru because he didn’t get enough meat on his Chalupa. So, when a guy goes nuts and threatens to blow up Best Buy because it allegedly gave away his copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, we’re nonplussed. | Aurora Sentinel

The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at info@bitterlawyer.com.

2 Comments

  1. Michelle

    November 13, 2011 at 9:44 am

    #4 – The only way that’s funny is in the sense that it’s “funny” our country is that pitiful. Where I live, people get lighter sentences for assaults labeled as hate crimes than that. And the idea that a person should feel the need to commit non-violent crime in the hopes of getting three squares, a roof, and medical care in jail is shameful – not as much for him as for the rest of us. I know the idea of a “welfare state” is distasteful to people, but I still think we should do better than this. No one should have to be incarcerated just to be seen by a healthcare professional.

    • Guano Dubango

      November 13, 2011 at 10:29 am

      I agree. While you may not be a law beauty, you at least have a brain. I must remember this.

      Look at the new word I learned in Urban Dictionary. You American’s do a lot of things that would be banned in my country.

      Sloppy Guiseppe–

      Definition:
      Similar to a Space-Docking, but the defecator’s faeces must have a texture that is liquid-like, and must then proceed to have sex with the poo-filled vagina whilst chanting up to 10 Hail Mary’s.

      Example:
      Did that priest just give a nun a sloppy Guiseppe?

      I am learning much from your country and from your internet web.
      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sloppy+guiseppe

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