Legal Humor Roundup for November 22, 2011

We’re shortening up our week for the roundup, so this will be our last until Friday. Until then, we’ve got a carjacker armed with a pacifier and an driver armed with, oh, so much much more. Plus why “Rae Carruth” is banned from Pakistani text messages, another theft of large lawn art, and the trifecta of botched shoplifting. It’s the happy hour law review for Tuesday, November 22, 2011.

1A couple in England scored a trifecta of botched shoplifting: 1) getting filmed throughout the process; 2) not having enough room in the trunk for the goods; and 3) running out of gas in the store parking lot. |

2We’ve reported on thefts of 9-foot stuffed bears, ten-foot fiberglass giraffes, and a 70-pound fiberglass rooster. This time it’s a thirty-foot inflatable bottle of Bud Light. | BayNews9

3Legal Blog Watch, via Deadspin, provides an update and more detail on the 1,109 English-language words banned from text messages in Pakistan, including why the phrase “Rae Carruth” made it on the list. | Legal Blog Watch

4A man armed with a pacifier stole one car, wrecked it, then stole two more and wrecked them. Then he got in a brawl with police and ended up charged with a buttload of crimes. |

5Don’t drive drunk—or don’t drive around at all, actually. When you are loaded up with 5,000 rounds of amunition. And six handguns. And two swords. And a hatchet. And several twelve-inch knives. | The Wichita Eagle


The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at

1 Comment

  1. Guano Dubango

    November 24, 2011 at 8:07 am

    You fellows missed the coverage of my second cousin, Mary Sagoe, back home in Ghana. I commend it to your attention. All women should be so civic minded. Here’s a snippet from the news:

    The 65-year-old woman with an iron-like grip could not withstand her daughter being attacked and robbed by two armed robbers. She fought one of the robbers, identified as a Nigerian, by grabbing his balls.

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