Legal Humor Roundup for November 7, 2011


Memo to all museum janitorial staff: that brown splotchy stain in Gallery 14 is worth $1.1 million. Please don’t clean it up. Plus, the weirdest excuses for calling in sick, getting charged with “hindering apprehension,” a green Honda Civic as jailbait, and proposed new cartoons on cigarette packages get the ax, at least for now. It’s the happy hour law review for Monday, November 7, 2011.

1If you install a $1.1 million art piece involving the depiction of a rain-stained floor, make sure the museum’s cleaning lady knows about the piece. Just saying. | Time

2While we’re sure some employment attorneys may have some to contribute, at least one site has the 15 weirdest excuses for missing work, including “employee’s 12-year-old daughter stole his car.” | Workbuzz

3According to police, a New York man gave Hoboken police false information to avoid outstanding warrants he thought he had. The man didn’t have any outstanding warrants, so he was charged instead with “hindering apprehension.” | NJ.com

4If you see an unlocked green Honda Civic running with the keys in the ignition, don’t steal it, no matter how desperate you are to have sexual relations with that woman. | Legal Juice

5On hold: new graphic images on cigarette packages depicting smokers exhaling through a tracheotomy hole, struggling for breath in an oxygen mask, and lying dead on a table with a long chest scar. Bonus images include a diseased lung, a mouth with mottled teeth and a disfigured lip, a weeping woman, and a cartoon of a crying baby in an incubator. | Washington Post

(Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lanier67/237055775)

The Bitter Bartender knows proper mixology and curates some of the best stories of law firm humor, abuse, and woe. Have a story or submission? Email us at info@bitterlawyer.com.

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