Yes, there were more thefts of lawn ornaments today, but we’re not going to report on those anymore. It’s getting out of control. But we do have news of ridiculous airport safety, along with vodka marketed to lawyers who barely have time to drink it. Plus, for those newly divorced, there’s a fantastic list of gifts you should consider for yourself or others in the same boat. And if you need to keep those pesky teens off the lawn, consider a bucket of urine. Yep, it’s the happy hour law review for Thursday, September 22, 2011.
1Lowering the Bar has two posts related to security around airplanes and
bathroom airport safety. The first relates to what can only be described as “reading a magazine on the crapper, raising suspicions and thus needing the scrambling of F-16 fighter jets.” The other relates to federal Transportation Safety Administration officials doing a “hair pat down” of a woman’s afro. | Lowering the Bar
2A guest post by Daisy at thenambypamby blog relates to a young attorney being called out by a judge, apparently for dressing like a professinal ice skater. No, actually, for wearing a caucasian-colored shirt. Fashion tip: avoid judges who presume you are just letting it all hang out. | The Namby Pamby
3You gotta love a new vodka marketed directly to overworked associates, with the tag line: “you spend less time outside than prisoners on Rikers Island.” Comedians-at-Law has the money shot. | Comedians at Law
4If all else fails, throw a bucket of urine on the sidewalk and yell “get off my lawn” a little bit louder. A man in York, Pennsylvania, got so fed up with harassment by local teens that he threw a bucket of piss on his sidewalk to keep them away. He got cited by the police, though we’d love to know the specifics of the ordinance the police used. | WKSTP.com
5The website Oddee has a nice little list of ten bizarre gifts you can get for someone who is just divorced. On the list? A wedding ring coffin, the “Detacho” playhouse for children of divorced parents, and a divorce day cake. If you’ve got a lot of things you need, though, there’s always the divorce gift registry. | Oddee.com