Libertarian Robin Hoods Battle Parking Authority:
Ron Swanson So Happy He Cries for the Third Time Ever

According to Reuters, James Cleaveland and his gang of merry-coin-giving-men are the subject of a law suit seeking a restraining order to prevent these hoodlums from putting change where it doesn’t belong. In the city’s parking meters.

According to the article, “Cleveland and a group of friends took to the streets with pocketfuls of change and began shadowing the city’s three parking enforcement officers, stuffing coins in expired meters before they could issue $5.00 tickets.” These folks probably make very little money and most likely cry themselves to sleep at night after being berated by motorists catching them in the act of doing their job.

This is the most gang activity that New Hampshire has ever seen. Experts may be flown in from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department to consult.

The group involved is part of the “Free Keene” movement, which is a local cell of the “Free State Project.” Basically, they are trying to get libertarians to settle in New Hampshire so they can implement Ron Swanson’s ideal form of government.

The City of Keene takes exception not just to the loss of income in fines, but to the alleged acts of these bandits “of videotaping, taunting and intimidating its parking meter personnel.” While it is fun to think of these guys running around thwarting the Sheriffs of Parking-Meter-Ham, they would probably gain even more affection if they were a little nicer to the meter attendants.

The citizens of Keene seem to be okay with the group. The gang leaves calling cards on the windshield of the cars that they “save” stating “Your Meter Expired! However we saved you from the king’s tariff! – Robin Hood & The Merry Men” and requesting donations. In return the gang is receiving donations and thank you notes.

It’s like a god damn war zone out there.

If only there were someone who would do something about this. A vigilant who would be willing to take matters into his own hands and restore order to the streets of Keene…

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

3 Comments

  1. Layne

    May 16, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Ayn Rand must be rolling in her grave.

    Correct me if I’m wrong (and I’m sure someone will try), but the actions of these Robin Hoods seem highly inconsistent with the traditional objective of Libertarian philosophy, which is essentially a “survival of the fittest” ideology. Instead, the NH Free Keenians are behaving as veritable Liberals of the most Socialist persuasion. Talk about redistributing wealth; those with more are giving to those with less, and rescuing them from the logical consequences of putting too-few coins in the king’s meter to boot!

    Nothing less than Anarchy shall flow from this mischief, I warrant you.

    • Hal

      May 16, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      Someone get this guy laid.

  2. Steve

    May 16, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    Yeah, you’re wrong. Libertarianism is not Objectivism. Libertarianism is not about selfishness or “survival of the fittest”. It’s about cooperating peacefully, which is exactly what these guys are doing.

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