Loose Ends, 1-2-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

In-house legal advisors offer their 2009 “personal and professional resolutions.” And while “Looking busy and keeping my job” should fall into both categories for all of them, it’s all handled in a boring fashion like when someone answers “What are your weaknesses?” in a job interview.  [Law.com]

Chicago’s Kirkland & Ellis office is expecting their first dip in earnings since the early 1990s—the first decline most partners have ever seen.  And it’s predicted that firms will continue to contract their rosters and “[t]he glory days of lockstep raises and big bonuses are over” across the board.  Happy fucking New Year!  [Chicago Tribune]

A former Kirkland & Ellis lawyer will experience the “dip in earnings” worse than any associate.  He’s been suspended from law practice for three years after admitting to pursuing sexual activity with a 13-year-old girl.  [Law.com]

Business-related settlements were all the rage in December as corporations make deals before Obama’s inauguration.  Millions of dollars in fines have been agreed to including “a $7.6 million pact with Yale University to settle charges that it overbilled federal agencies on research grants between 2000 and 2006.” I can see why Yale wanted to get that taken squared away with the DOJ before the all-Harvard Obama administration takes office. [Washington Post]

Arizona may soon require all new lawyers to swear they won’t let their personal religious perspective on homosexuality affect their representation of any client.  So Christian lawyers are pissed off about the idea that if they want any career at all, they have to affirm that they would “pursue child custody cases for lesbians and ‘marriage’ rights for homosexuals just as they would pursue any other issue for clients, regardless of their religious perspective.” [WND.com]

One reason why law firms should consider having customer service departments… [Legal Police]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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