Loose Ends, 1-8-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

Chicago lawyer Ari Madoff, Bernard Madoff’s grandson, wants you as a client.  Wanna give him your business?  No, it’s cool.  Madoff is “the most trusted name in securities law.” And Ari’s grandpa is the other Bernie—the one who’s in a nursing home in Canada.  He legitimately has no relation to the stock-swindling, jewel-mailing NY Madoff, but people sure think he does, which is running his business into the toilet.  [New York Daily News]

A New York doctor wants his kidney that he donated to his wife in 2001 back as part of their divorce settlement.  Or its value, which he set at $1.5 million.  OR THE KIDNEY BACK!  HE WANTS THE GODDAMN KIDNEY BACK!  [Gaurdian.co.uk]

U.S. District Judge Sam Kent just had an obstruction of justice charged added to his list of sexual abuse allegations, which “if proved, his career — not just as a judge, but as a lawyer — would be over.” So not only did he get flat-out rejected by chicks for his unwanted sexual advances, but he’s going to lose his entire career for it.  Epic FAIL.  [Houston Chronicle]

Hey, Obama here.  I think it’s almost too late to save this pesky economy.  It’s shittier than any of us thought.  So that sucks, but Mich and I are getting excited and can’t wait to see you all at my inauguration balls.  If you have problems getting in, don’t bother blowing up my ‘berry—just tell them you’re on the list.  Cheers, mates! [USA Today’s “The Oval”]

While they might not use ice in any of their drinks (which is annoying), Europeans are experiencing some big, chilly cubes in their economy.  And it doesn’t help that the euro and the pound are feeling a little inferior to the dollar lately.  [Am Law Daily]

Even rappers have clerical errors.  T.I. had to pay $8,000 in overdue lawyer fees for his soon-to-be ex-wife’s counsel and sons’ private school tuition.  Which wouldn’t make very tough rap lyrics, so it’s good he’s scheduled to be sentenced on federal weapons charges in March.  Keeps it realer.  [Associated Press]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

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