Loose Ends, 12-31-08

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

In the game “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,” everyone’s practically a Ponzi victim.  He’s the newest notable to have lost scrilla in the Madoff debacle.  [Reuters]

Straight from the sued horse’s mouth: “A Washington lobbyist sued The New York Times and several of its reporters and editors Tuesday, charging that the newspaper had falsely created an impression that she had engaged in an improper romantic relationship with Senator John McCain.” We Americans really need to get over our perception of old people bumping uglies as “improper.” They need to get laid too, and it’s a beautiful thing.  [The New York Times]

One nation, so not under God—God who?—what God?—I don’t know a God.  [Washington Post]

Can old dudes please stop offloading their conscience and fucking up the country already?  Wanting to stay in vogue with Mark Felt and Bernie Madoff, “an 85-year-old New Jersey man who once had access to a U.S. Army library pleaded guilty to one count of conspiring to pass on nuclear and other military secrets to Israel a quarter-century ago.” [Bloomberg]

Canadians hate being duped.  A chick named Quami lied her way into York University’s law school, and now they’re so pissed they’re not even pardoning their French.  [CP24.com]

Shoes are apparently the Iraqi equivalent of rotten tomatoes.  So throwing them at a foreign president is more of an insult than assault, right?  That’s what TV journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi’s lawyer wants the courts to consider—and in the process, his trial has been postponed pending appeal.  “Have you ever heard of anyone being killed by a shoe?” the lawyer asked.  It’s a stretch, but has he ever heard of an airplane almost blowing up by a rotten tomato bomb?  [MichaelMoore.com]

Ironically, Matt Dillon, the actor who won an Oscar for his role in Crash, just got arrested for excessive speeding in Vermont.  [AllHeadlineNews.com]

Maybe if law firms followed the truck-driver model and made their labor cheaper across the board, they could avoid all the nasty recession effects like layoffs, bankruptcy and dirty pit stop bathrooms.  [Washington Post]

Read more from the Bitter Newsroom.

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    December 31, 2008 at 8:49 am

    It’s not improper because they’re old, you idiot.  It’s because it’s a political conflict of interest.  Not to mention McCain is married!!!!!  Get the story straight.

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