Police Chase Man Into Ocean. He’s Now Facing Charges and Pruney Hands.

According to KSWB San Diego, John Michael White ran from police Sunday and took refuge in the ocean. Apparently, the police all had a healthy, Buster Bluth level of fear of the ocean. They let this guy hang out in the water for about seven hours. After wading in and out of the water for most of the night, the police sent in their version of seal team six to pull him out.

According to the article “a special dive team from the Harbor Police used special equipment and skills and finally accomplished what the officers on land could not.” Apparently, what they could accomplish was sneaking up on this guy and beating the shit out of him underwater. We are not sure what “special equipment” actually means, but they probably had some military grade water wings that are not issued to your run-of-the-mill police officers.

Police Chief Bolduc told reporters that the “police divers are excellent swimmers. They all have training to dive in very difficult environments.” Really? you don’t let your shitty swimmers join the dive team? Also, how many “difficult environments” are they actually trained in? We assume most of the training is aquatic. Although, desert scuba diving might be a new trend for aquaphobic thrill seekers.

(photo: Portrait of man in diving helmet from Shutterstock)

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