Nicole Baxter, Doc Review Taskmaster

Watch the rest of the Bottom Rung, including character sketches of the dreamers, gunners, and lifers that make up document review.

Bitter Staff is a collection of current and former editors, contributors, and various other lawyers who have written for Bitter Lawyer over the years. Posts include interviews, contests, and other general lawyerly and bitter content.


  1. Guano Dubango

    January 17, 2012 at 9:35 am

    This is not a woman I would want to crawl into the lair with, notwithstanding her potential to bear me issue. I would be too afraid of her damaging my manhood.

  2. Mean Partner

    January 17, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    There wouldn’t be room for her and you in your lair. I apologize to anyone offended, but law practice ought to mean not having to work with people who look like a beefy, pushy, rude, officious, out of work East German Border guard. The only advantage of being bossed around by a living Egg ZMcMuffin is that is that she’d pick on the cute women, hopefully generating a shared sense of oppression that would cause a bonding experience between me and some cute woman.

    When I set up my Tier 1 Doc review department, it will be administered by a mid 30’s MILF type which will also induce people to try harder to be Tier 1 Doc Reviewers. I will also include some hot guy to induce the diligent women to join up. But I need advice on what type of guy my smart, dedicated women DocReviewers will find attractive: a surfer dude, a sentitive poet type, or a mid30’s lawyer type?

    • Guano Dubango

      January 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      If you are recruiting for an fertile, attractive and nubile wench to lead Doc Review, then how about using me, Guano Dubango, IV as bait? After all, I come from royal stock in Ghana, as part of the matriarchal Ooona-Dubango line, and can have virtually any Nubian princess I desire in Accra. The problem is now that I have been in the US of A for a number of years, and have been exposed to a variety of non-Nubians, I presently desire to bring home a law bride with blue eyes who is a true, natural blond. And she need not be as pretty as Charlize Theron, either, although Ms. Theron would be welcome in my lair at any time.

  3. Mean Partner

    January 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Um, I think I need someone a little less nice, a little more of a cad and in really good shape to be the bait. Women like that type. Since I am not a walking abs ad, I will need someone else. You sound too…..nice…to be the bait.

    Anyway, what happened to Guano Dubango III, II and jr? And who was the original?

  4. Guano Dubango

    January 18, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    I need to preserve the Guano Dubango patrilineage, now over 100 years, by having a suitable female bear me at least 1 male issue. My ancestors, now deceased, have provided me with the wherewithall to secure a good education (which I secured at University), and now the financial security to attract a suitable female. Given my academic and monetary assets, I should be able to secure, what you call, only the top cut. I do not want to settle for some moonfaced woman who is overweight now, because there is a common genetic characteristic of the Ooona family to have larger derrieres, with those growing immensely after the age of 40, even in cases where they were svelte wenches in their 20’s. Since I am already well over 30, I wish to find a woman who is approximately 12-15 years younger than me, ideally only out of law school a year or two, who has both the intelligence, and the body, to provide me with both the intellectual and physical stimulation I need to bear the healthiest of issue and live with me in Accra to rear these issue. I am generally very accommodating, and will not require anything unusual or demanding of my spouse, other than to provide me with the intellectual and physical satisfaction I require.

    If the women know that I am financially secure, and can provide them with a life of leisure in Accra, I hope they will come running, particularly in this economy where the work is not fulfilling and the lure of lounging poolside during the day will be there for them, so long as their nights are reserved for me.

    With this said, are there any suitable fertile and nubile females available between the age of 24 and 32 interested in being considered for Dubango status? Please to respond favorably.

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