Poetic Justice, where Bitter Lawyer mashes poems, lyrics, and depositions to come up with a unique brand of resampled artisanal legal work. We also curate found depositions and other legal literacy. If you come across an awesome piece of poetic justice or feel the need to create one yourself, send it our way. We’ll take a look.
This week: Adam Levine breaks out some serious deposition moves.
MS. TAYLOR: Counsel, can I proceed or are you going to keep--- Adam? Adam? Listen, Adam, I'm going to proceed. Your witness is here and I've answered some questions, some rather ridiculous questions about procedure, and I'd like to get started. MR. LEVINE: Just shoot for the stars if it feels right. MS. TAYLOR: Sure. Sure. Honestly, Adam, you are being difficult here. You have been since --- MR. LEVINE: And aim for my heart if you feel like. MS. TAYLOR: It's not about you, Adam. It's a deposition. A simple Rule 30 deposition. Can we just -- MR. LEVINE: -- Can take me away and make it OK MS. TAYLOR: Adam, really, that's enough. And don't start singing again. Or humming. Or drumming on the table. I'm serious--- No, I don't need to see your tattoos --- MR. LEVINE: I swear I'll behave --- MS. TAYLOR: That's right. It's my deposition. I noticed your client and you -- MR. LEVINE: -- You wanted control -- MS. TAYLOR: --- took two months to agree -- MR. LEVINE: So we waited. MS. TAYLOR: But Adam, she's your client. Your client. I'll spell it for you: C-L-I-E-N-T. You represent her not --- MR. LEVINE: I put on a show. MS. TAYLOR: That's right. Yes. You put on a show. Everything about you and your practice is putting on a show. You are a joke. A joke. MR. LEVINE: Now I make it. MS. TAYLOR: You're an adolescent. What are you a 2011 grad from Regent? You're a kid. MR. LEVINE: You say I'm a kid. MS. TAYLOR: I say --- No, you're masochistic and an egotist. And a kid. With ADHD. MR. LEVINE: My ego is big. MS. TAYLOR: Big? It's off the charts, it's ten point two. MR. LEVINE: I don't give a shit. MS. AGUILERA: Am I needed here? Can we take a short break, maybe? I mean, can I go if this doesn't --- MR. LEVINE: And it goes like this. MS. TAYLOR: Adam, sit down. You do not have --- You say one more thing and I swear I'll -- MR. LEVINE: Take me by the tongue --- MS. TAYLOR: --- That's it -- MR. LEVINE: --- I'll know you. MS. TAYLOR: Ms. Aguilera, please step out. MR. LEVINE: Kiss me 'til you're drunk and I'll show you. MS. AGUILERA: Can anyone else see this? MS. TAYLOR: It's on the record. It's on the record. MR. LEVINE: All the moves like Jagger. MS. TAYLOR: What? What did you just say? MS. AGUILERA: Did he just say Jagger? COURT REPORTER: He said "All the moves like Jagger." MS. TAYLOR: I'm going to ask the court reporter to step out. MR. LEVINE: I've got the moves like Jagger. MS. TAYLOR: What? COURT REPORTER: He said "I've got the moves like Jagger" MR. LEVINE: I've got the moves like Jagger MS. TAYLOR: Whatever. I'm leaving --- It's your show. MR. LEVINE: I don't need to try to control you. MS. TAYLOR: Right-o, Adam. COURT REPORTER: Are we on the record? MS. TAYLOR: Yes, yes. And let the record reflect that Mr. Levine has removed his shirt and, oh, shit --- MR. LEVINE: Look into my eyes and I'll own you. MS. TAYLOR: Don't touch me. MR. LEVINE: You with the moves like Jagger. MS. TAYLOR: Put your shirt back --- I said don't touch me. MS. AGUILERA: Is this over? MR. LEVINE: I've got the moves like Jagger. MS. AGUILERA: What the hell? Are you on crack? MR. LEVINE: I've got the moves like Jagger. MS. AGUILERA: Nobody else can see this.
Source: “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5.