I’ve been struggling with something for awhile now (actually, since 1/3 of the way through my first stint as a summer associate in Big Law), and I was hoping the universe might be able to offer some guidance. See, I want to be a positive person who radiates enthusiastic energy and gives off good vibes and all that. Not only because it would be good for my overall well-being, but also because it would probably be pretty helpful in attracting solid potential husband candidates. But the problem is, it seems like every single aspect of practicing law is completely antithetical to building a good aura and balanced chakras and whatnot.
Six Stupid Salutations (That Every Lawyer Uses)
I assume you all know that lawyers are stuck in the 1990s. Lawyers still use faxes. Many still hand write notes on yellow legal pads. Our offices are filled with filing cabinets from cases 8 years old. But most old-timey of all: We love writing letters. And when it comes to legal writing, its not [...]
Every motion you write as a young attorney first begins as a motion written in another case by an attorney you will never meet. If you don’t make your changes, the motion could end up making no sense.
Why do clients believe their attorney’s billing is optional? No, that is not the beginning of some bad joke – its an honest question. If you get your oil changed at the mechanic you have no problem paying. Need your A/C fixed, pull out that check book. Going to update your kitchen? Here is the down payment. But lawyers are a different breed. Sure I saved you thousand of dollars, or maybe even some time in jail but I guess that is not worthy of tapping into your savings. Here is an example of my latest client billing letter:
In a rather embarrassing admission, attorney Mark Klein has stated his clients are “always right.” It is a shocking statement to most lawyers. “I always thought clients were just mistaken when they said ‘my case is a clear cut winner,’ but, as it almost always turns out, they are correct,” stated the Sacramento solicitor. Klein states he has become a rich man, “all thanks to following the advice of my clients.”
Bitter Lawyer (bitterlawyer.com) is seeking an editor in chief with vision and a great sense of humor.
POSITION FILLED on April 11, 2013.
What luck! It’s Thursday, which means it’s time to dig into Bitter Lawyer’s archives.
Yes, it’s time for some art from Bitter Poet, who brought together such odd bedfellows such as depositions and . . . Tom Waits and his lyrics. This one is from September 2011. It still delivers.
As my law school career draws to a close, and I realize so many of my friends without degrees are making more money now than I will when I graduate and (if I find a job) start working, I’ve increasingly thought about the actual costs of law school. What exactly am I paying for here? There are the obvious answers, like overhead and faculty and staff and administrator salaries. There are the clichéd answers as well, like getting a legal education and a J.D. and becoming a lawyer. And while all of those things are true, they don’t quite seem to cut it. So after doing some thinking, I came up with a list of 6 things I’m paying for, by way of my law school tuition.
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Police received a call this week from a Utah couple that claimed they found razor blades in their doughnuts. (ATTN: Personal Injury Attorneys). However, after an investigation, police have determined that the couple, Carol Lee Leazer-Hardman and Michael Condor, actually placed the razor blades in the pastries themselves before ingesting the pastries. (ATTN: Prosecutor’s Office).