BREAKING: Rob Kardashian, Jr. Is Going to USC Law School. Or Is He?


On August 6, Robert Kardashian, Jr. tweeted, “Going to Law School very soon and so excited and can’t wait! School just never ends for me! #UniversityofSouthernCal #Trojans #FightOn.” The USC undergrad alum and son of the late Robert Kardashian appeared excited at the idea of starting USC Law in the fall . . . except for the fact that he isn’t going. USC Law’s twitter page informed the world that not only is Rob K. Jr. not slated to start this fall, he didn’t even apply.

Now, this is an amazing approach to the admissions process. Maybe he just read The Secret and thought that the first step towards a goal is just putting the thought out there. Or perhaps he thought he had a promotional deal with USC, and by giving the brand more exposure, he would be compensated in legal education.

This is a wonderful example of how fame affects one’s vision of success, where tweeting about going to law school precedes actually filling out an application. All that aside, let’s consider the top five potential legal careers for Mr. Kardashian Jr.:

1. Criminal Defense

Robert Kardashian was part of OJ Simpson’s criminal defense dream team. Rob could practice criminal defense, but it seems unlikely that Rob would start his legal career in a public defender’s office. It seems more likely that Rob would end up defending the various stars who need help in their smaller criminal matters—DUI, public drunkenness, parole violations—at a high end price, of course. Celebrities would know they could trust his discretion. After all, he didn’t leak that infamous sex tape.

2. Sports Law

With a step-father like Bruce Jenner, a brother-in-law like Lamar Odom, and various athletic ex-boyfriends of sisters, Rob certainly has connections with athletes. No wonder he pretended to accept an offer from USC.

3. Family Law

Had he gone to law school sooner, Rob could have helped sister Kim with her divorce from Kris Humphries. His sister Kourtney has two children with her boyfriend, without being married, which may present issues of custody in the future. When (not if) Kim Kardashian gets married again, Rob could help with the prenuptial agreement. However, law school is three years, so he likely won’t be able to assist with her next couple marriages.

4. News Commentator

Nancy Grace went from being a prosecutor to a television personality who ended up on Dancing with the Stars. Rob has already been on Dancing with the Stars, so he’s already halfway there. I can imagine someone asking him what he thinks about a certain case, simply because he is famous and has a law degree, without him needing to practice at all. I suspect most of this “legal” answers would be on par with Wesley Snipes’ explanation of the actor-agent relationship that Snipes gave in his recent deposition.

5. Consigliere

Like Tom Hagen in The Godfather, played by Robert Duvall, Rob could be the ultimate family advisor, with a mix of intellectual property, business, and family law. I smell another reality show spin-off . . .

Kate Currer is a writer, stand-up comic, and attorney. Her other work can be found at katecurrer.tumblr.com. Her shortest writings can be found on Twitter @KateCurrer.

1 Comment

  1. Frank

    August 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    Will the chicks bang this dude to meet Kim?

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