Donut Derelicts’ Get-Rich-Quick Scheme Fails

Police received a call this week from a Utah couple that claimed they found razor blades in their doughnuts. (ATTN: Personal Injury Attorneys). However, after an investigation, police have determined that the couple, Carol Lee Leazer-Hardman and Michael Condor, actually placed the razor blades in the pastries themselves before ingesting the pastries. (ATTN: Prosecutor’s Office).

The two doughnut derelicts put small portions of broken razor blades into the dozen before bringing them into the office to share with coworkers. One coworker actually bit into a doughnut, however she did not actually swallow it and was not injured. Leazer-Hardman and Condor actually did ingest pieces of razor blades “in order to gain a settlement” from the grocery store.

100000% I would have been caught up in this scheme. I love doughnuts. If you bring in some pastries to the office we are immediately going to be best friends. Set a baker’s dozen in front of me and tell me one has razor blades in it . . . Han Bitter Solo don’t care. I’ll play some doughnut roulette. I’m not the one who will be charged with assault and filing a false police report.

As for dumb and dumber here — pretty sure this is the worse plot of all time. What is the end game here? To get a settlement from a grocery store. Why not just drop one of the doughnuts then try to slip on the glazed covered floor? Go see a fake doctor chiropractor and run up some medical bills. Because this is one sentence I never want to hear: “Hospital x-rays revealed several blades in the stomachs of Hardman and Condor.” Several. Blades. Those got to come out somehow. Yikes.

Post image courtesy of Shutterstock.

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