JOB TITLE: Senior Legal Analyst
JOB SUMMARY: Bitter Lawyer is seeking a Senior Legal Analyst to join its team of hardworking writers. Candidate must need the job so badly that he will not quit even though he hates said job so much after the first week that he contemplates harming himself or others.
COMPENSATION: Commensurate with relevant experience
REQUIRED QUALIFICATIONS AND EXPERIENCE:
- Must have no relevant experience.
- Senior citizen preferred, although not required.
- Must have watched at least a combined four full seasons of Law & Order (or any L&O spinoff), L.A. Law, Ally McBeal, Boston Legal, Knight Rider, and/or Night Court.
- The candidate must believe he/she has a thorough understanding of the law.
- The candidate must be adept at improper use of legal terminology and must regularly use incorrect terms. Example: “The defense attorney clearly did not understand the boudoir process. If he had, juror number 4 would have been removed due to his nasty ultra vires.”
- Must be willing to work unreasonable hours for little or no compensation, work horribly with others, and have inferior verbal and written communication skills.
JOB DESCRIPTION: Write blog posts for Bitter Lawyer containing thorough, insightful legal analysis of current events.
Send resume and headshot to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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