I stayed up all night revising this stupid Stock Purchase Agreement. The Partner in charge, who’s a classic angry-nerd-law-dick, gave me lots of detailed comments to incorporate into the agreement. He wrote them in red ink on the contract and said, “Make these changes, and get it out by midnight.”
It’s like 9:00 p.m., and I’m cranking away, when I notice that some of his comments don’t make sense. They contradict other parts of the contract, etc. So I email him right away, explain the issue and ask him to get back to me ASAP and let me know what he wants to do. I also said that if I didn’t hear back from him by midnight, I’d stick with his version. I wait a half-hour. No email. Then I call his cell phone. No answer. Leave a message. I call his home phone. No answer. Leave a message. It’s now 11:45 p.m., and there’s still no word from Loser Partner. I email and call both numbers again. Nada.
I send out the document at midnight WITH ALL OF HIS COMMENTS incorporated into the contract. Like I told him I would do in my email. I wasn’t just going to make the changes I thought made sense. I’m a third-year associate. What do I know?
He calls me into his office the next morning and screams at me for screwing up the Stock Purchase Agreement. “How could you send a contract out to a client with obvious errors?!” (He was talking about HIS errors, by the way, not mine.) When I asked why he didn’t email or call me back, he said he didn’t get the emails or messages. Obviously, he was lying, so I called him on it. “You’re kidding, right? You’re telling me you didn’t get my two emails or any of the messages I left?” He then accused me of having an attitude problem and said he was going to talk with the Managing Partner about my insubordination. I said, “You’re an asshole. You know that?”
He just looked at me and told me to get out of his office. But I didn’t leave. Not at first. I just stared his weasel-y ass down for a few seconds, and then told him I was going to have a talk with the Managing Partner and explain what really happened. And I’m going to tell him the truth—and I’m going to show him the emails. This loser almost turned purple. He tells me to watch my step, or I’ll be on the street.
Anyway, the Managing Partner was pretty cool. Told me take a walk around the block and calm down. He also promised that this incident wouldn’t be held against me and that he’d have a talk with the Loser Partner. Later that day, two Cool Partners came up to me and said, “Don’t worry about that guy. He’s a dick.” The lesson to be learned here is: Stand up for yourself and don’t let asshole partners throw you under the bus.
Report your tales of Associate Abuse. Email them to info@bitterlawyer.com


