Associate Abuse

Ax Me Already

31 comments

by Bitter and Abused on August 19, 2009 in Columns

It’s now to the point at my law firm where I wish someone would just put me out of my misery and lay me off already.

Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite!

16 comments

by Bitter and Abused on August 13, 2009 in Columns

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Don’t let anyone ever tell you that it’s glamorous to travel as a lawyer for business. It’s not.

See’s The Day!

31 comments

by Bitter and Abused on August 6, 2009 in Columns

The man who takes my chocolates from the law firm fridge hasn’t missed my name. He sent me a note reminding me to replenish the supply!

Drunk Skunk of a Boss

14 comments

by Bitter and Abused on July 31, 2009 in Columns

My boss is a class-A booze fiend. And my philosophy is usually: his liver, his life, I don’t care. Except there’s one problem. My paycheck bounced.

Bar Review: Just Push Play

22 comments

by Bitter and Abused on July 21, 2009 in Columns

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You go watch the video, you study your ass off, and you basically have no life.

Stop–I Got Enough

25 comments

by Bitter and Abused on July 6, 2009 in Columns

This just in: Michael Jackson is dead. He’s been dead for more than a week. And guess what? He’s still dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead as a door knob. Dead like disco. I’ve wanted to yell this breaking news at my boss every day for the past week. But my boss is a judge and, [...]

Gym Clothing (Not) Optional

20 comments

by Bitter and Abused on June 18, 2009 in Columns

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The thought of this old man hanging in the breeze while he talks legal strategy to me is more anxiety than it’s worth.

From Russian With Hate

16 comments

by Bitter and Abused on June 12, 2009 in Columns

This, I guess, is a Summer Associate abuse story, if that’s allowed. I just finished my first year at a top-50 law school. The summer job hunt was brutal, and I didn’t get an “offer” until after my last final. But at least I got something—even if it only pays $11/hour to work at an [...]