What happens when a 25-year-old party girl tries to enforce a written promise that her cokehead boyfriend likely scribbled on a napkin in a the middle of a bender, agreeing to give her a million bucks if he started using drugs again? Just ask Noelle Reno, ex-girlfriend of banking heir and “notorious drug user” Matthew Mellon, who is taking the 43-year-old bad boy to court to try to enforce the contract she had him sign obligating him to give her a “cash payment of $1 million” if he “ingested cocaine or other similar drugs within the next six months and it rendered him unable to interact normally with other people for more than two days.”
Mellon’s legal experts have refused to comment on the merits of the pending claim, but they did want to reiterate their strong belief that the kid from Mellon’s fourth grade class—the one who made that half-court shot after betting Mellon a billion dollars he could make it—would very likely prove unsuccessful should he also attempt to collect his unpaid debt. [Daily Mail]
Photo by Bryan Chan
Word hit the streets yesterday that Steven Page, the lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies, is planning to fight the recent cocaine charge he racked up last week when he was arrested in an apartment in upstate New York and charged with possession of a controlled substance. When asked about the powdery white substance in his possession, court documents report that Page allegedly told police “Yeah, it’s cocaine.”
While legal scholars and pundits alike have wished the singer well on his fight, they wanted to pass along this obscure legal tip: At your next drug bust, when the cops take a bag of blow out of your hand and ask you what it is, just keep your mouth shut. And if you do say something, say anything in the world but “Yeah, it’s cocaine.” Just a thought. [Reuters]
Photo by Staciaann Photography
Allen Garcia, the 33-year-old homeless panhandler who was arrested for selling crack to Tatum O’Neal six weeks ago, was released this week from Rikers Island, only to be stopped by immigration officials as he was walking out of the building, who delivered the bad news: he’s being deported.
Pundits from coast to coast were stunned to hear the news of the deportation, in light of O’Neal’s staunch declaration to the press six weeks ago, “I’m going to try to see if I can help him. He’s not a drug dealer. He’s a panhandler who sold drugs. I’m going to talk to my lawyer.” Long regarded for her mastery of semantics, O’Neil went on to explain that she is indeed the best person to race to the legal aid of this non-drug-dealing-panhandler-who-sells-drugs because she is not, in fact, a crackhead, but rather an actress with a head who occasionally puts crack in it. [NY Mag]
