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Post image for Friends Don’t Let Friends Give Them Legal Advice

Reason No. 2,341 that I hate being a lawyer: when a friend or family member asks for my take on a legal issue. This inevitably leads to me having to give an answer the asker doesn’t want to hear, thereby resulting in an uncomfortable argument that leaves the asker with the impression that I’m a know-it-all asshole and that all stereotypes about the hatefulness of lawyers are categorically true.

Whenever this happens, the askers set it up as if they want my unbiased advice on an issue about which they’re totally clueless. After the initial entrapment, i.e. after I’ve already stated my opinion and it’s too late to undo the damage, they make it abundantly clear that what they were really seeking was my rubber stamp of approval on an extraordinarily absurd—not to mention procedurally impossible and legally untenable—position that they’ve already adopted in advance of our conversation. In other words, I’m forced to fight the Sisyphean battle of trying to make a convincing argument to a layperson even in the face of clear evidence that he is too stupid to grasp his own stupidity.
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Post image for The (Big)Law of Attraction

So this is totally predictable and cliché (half the hellishness of BigLaw is that there are never any surprises), but this past week I got to take an actual vacation for the first time since I passed the bar—to go to my Nonna’s funeral. On my outbound flight, I nursed a whiskey and diet coke and repeated lines straight from the cynical associate script. I half-sketched a bitter rant about the pathetic state of life at my firm, which is so suffocating that it takes death for a litigation associate to be permitted to take some freaking time off, and the twisted irony of being permitted a much-needed vacation only because a loved one died.

That, however, was before I spent the entire weekend with my family.

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Fight the Power

by Albert Wang on May 9, 2011 in Comics

(Click the image to see the full comic.)

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